CEO to new sales rep: Use your judgment when it comes to payment schedules. If they sound like good people — you know, like normal Americans on the phone — we’ll bill them. But Ay-rabs and Orientals pay COD. You have to watch those bastards, ’cause they’ll all fuck you.
1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California
Overheard by: Really glad I gave notice yesterday
Black coworker, showing off book: It was on Oprah's Book Club.
White coworker: Oh, okay.
Black coworker, putting book under shirt: And now I'm hiding it, cos I don't read books. I'm black.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: sure, why not?
Mortgage rep: And, finally, may I ask you what race you are? Caucasian, African-American…
Customer: I’m Canadian.
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Kid: You know, if Europe and the US teamed together the entire world could be white.
675 27th Street
Chicago, Illinois
General Manager: Wait, his ex-wife is white? What color are their children? Beige?
805 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Eric
Jewish executive: The CEO of [name] company is coming from Israel for negotiations.
Redneck executive (exasperated): I hate dealing with Israelis! They're the hardest people to negotiate with. They're never satisfied with any deal you work out.
Jewish executive: (silence)
Redneck executive: It's like water torture!
Peon: Um, I think that's the Chinese.
San Mateo, California
Account executive on phone: I don't think we can release the Caucasian…
46th & Lexington
New York City, New York
Asian employee: Why is everyone Asian?!
Chinatown
New York, New York
Overheard by: Murray
Boss: Why would I pay to watch you take a shower?
Underling: Lots of people pay for it.
Boss: How much would you charge me?
Underling: I don't know, I'm Asian, so I can offer other amenities.
Atlanta, Georgia
White rich girl leaving mall with friends: I am so much more gangsta than you!
Mall
Des Moines, Iowa
Overheard by: Am I Really in Iowa?
