Co-worker #1: We’re having an office roast for Bob on Friday, since it’s his last day.
Co-worker #2: What do I need to bring?
Co-worker #1: You know, jokes, stories about him, like that.
Co-worker #2: That’s it? Who’s going to cook the roast?
2155 S. Bascom Avenue
Campbell, California
IT guy: Do you have a license to install Photoshop?
Employee: You need a license?
IT guy: Yeah.
Employee: It’s not that hard to install, you just double click on the icon.
IT guy: You don’t understand.
Employee: Yeah I do, I’m just fucking with you. Jokes are funny.
2 W. 2nd Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Secretary #1: What’s the problem?
Secretary #2: Oh…the gathering darkness.
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Danielle Balsamo
Consultant: Wow, this is really small.
Co-worker #1: Whenever I pull it out of the thingy it gets tiny.
Co-worker #2: Does it get bigger when you put it back in?
4 Country View Road
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Intercom: Luke! Luke, I am your father.
Woman #1: What is that?
Woman #2: Um, I think it’s the PA system.
Intercom: Luke, I am your father!
Woman #1: Yup, this place just keeps getting weirder every day.
735 Brewerton Road
West Point, New York
Jewish Co-worker: Yeah, my Grandpa owns a jewelry store,
Boss: Do you think there’s any connection to the fact that a lot of Jews are Jew-elers?
Jewish Co-worker: Uh, no…
Boss: Because if that was the case, they should start calling landscapers…ital-scapers.
Jewish Co-worker: Wow.
32100 Solon Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Co-worker: Well, if I am being stalked by phone, at least it’s by a funny stalker.
175 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker on phone: Huh? I’m stalking you? How do you know?
420 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY
Manager: How’re you doing? You’re not overworked, are you? I’m not giving you too much to do, am I?
Worker-bee: No, I’m okay…
Manager: Good, because I’m just going to keep giving you stuff to do until you tell me to fuck off.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Agent: [Kevin], there’s a call for you.
[Kevin]: Who would it be?
Agent: Duh, it’d be the person on the other end of the phone!
15-17 St Johns
Worcester, Worcestershire
UK
Overheard by: mark nice
