A/R girl: Your crotch is all done.
Billing: Okay, thanks. Now I can walk around and not worry about indecency.
A/R girl: Yeah. So if it comes apart again just bring it back in and I’ll stitch your crotch back together.
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: medieval much?
Male employee: I had an uncomfortable experience with someone putting something in my butt.
Louisville, Kentucky
Coworker #1: Do you want to meet in your cube, or should we get a room or something?
Coworker #2: I’m not sure I like how you phrased that…
290 Concord Road
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Heard everything
Receptionist #1: You know, I need a big, magic tool. One that doesn’t take batteries.
Receptionist #2: Hahaha!
Receptionist #1: For my pool! To clean my pool… Get your mind out of the gutter…
Receptionist #2: [Still snickering.]
State Street
Augusta, Maine
Overheard by: broken girl
Drone #1: Are you sticking around for the 4PM meeting?
Drone #2: No, the batteries are dead in my wife’s stimulator and I have to do my husbandly duty…
Drone #1: Excuse me?
815 Allgood Road NE
Marietta, Georgia
Supervisor to art director, while playing with digital camera: I am also deleting these photos, well–they should have been deleted a long time ago–but those ones of me on my knees.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Female peon to supervisor: I'm going to get us a room, but you said you wanted to do it in your office!
5th Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Miz Met
Supervisor on phone: Yeah, it usually takes about, I don’t know, three or four days to get the good whores, and then…
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Boss talking about movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: And he sees the body out of the corner of his eye just when you’re thinking that, and he turns and pees on it…
Female cube rat: We just had a seminar on our sexual harassment policy, and I am offended by that. I should report you.
Boss: Go ahead, I have pictures and emails.
Male cube rat: Do we have an official blackmail policy?
Black male cube rat: I take offense to that.
1771 N Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: afraid to speak
Bos: So, do you lift weights?
New guy: Uh, yeah, sometimes.
Boss: Because man, I’d hate to run into your chest at 40 miles an hour!
Co-worker: Why would that ever happen?
1710 Roy Acuff Place
Nashville, Tennessee
