Male office worker: Hold your hands out.
Female office worker: I am so tired of you squirting on me! And I don't want to be tied up unless I want to be. Got it?!
Baldwyn, Mississippi
Male office worker: Hold your hands out.
Female office worker: I am so tired of you squirting on me! And I don't want to be tied up unless I want to be. Got it?!
Baldwyn, Mississippi
Office drone #1: Last week I was on MySpace, and I dropped my old high school girlfriend a line. Would you see this as being friendly or creepy?
Office drone #2: Well, did you search specifically for her?
Office drone #1: No, I seriously just happened across her through my high school’s page, but unbeknownst to me she had just recently set up her account. I’m just freaked out that it looks like I’ve been trolling the internet waters waiting for her to surface and then, bam! Ten years ago that would have been the case, but not now.
Liberty Drive
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: giselle
Woman (after manager jokingly pats her on the back): Hey, don’t be coming in here hitting me!
Manager: No, no, I wouldn’t do that. I haven’t hit a woman in a long time. You know when the last time I hit a woman was? It was my ex-wife, and it was goooooood. I spent two days in jail, but it was worth it. It was soooo worth it. They had to wire her jaw shut. Six weeks. Six weeks of silence.
Woman: That’s nice, but could you leave now, please?”
Wilmington, North Carolina
Chicken farmer introducing new business partner to bank teller: This is Jose*. I teach him to love my chickens.
808 South Main Street
Elkton, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Coworker #1: Have you been in the men’s room lately?
Coworker #2: What? Oh, yeah.
Coworker #1: I like how it’s coming out all foamy.
Camden Street
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ren
Engineer #1, about coworker’s new implants: Dude, I know! She is totally shaped like a cartoon!
Engineer #2: I would really like to get in there and… motorboat, motorboat, motorboat!
Highway 78
Ladson, South Carolina
Attorney to secretary: You should be excited! There are no penises this time!
Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Walking In At The Wrong Time
Boss, walking from cube to cube: Hello, Amanda*, how's it going?
Amanda: Getting raped with work, Bill.* You should know that.
Boss: Don't worry, I am raping all of my employees this week.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: i'm next in line
Male coworker on phone with female worker: Did you get your areolas clean yet? No! Sorry! I meant did you get your area clean? I was going to offer you some Lysol!
West Sam Houston Parkway
Houston, Texas
Male developer #1: Alright, sugar tits.
Male developer #2: If you ever call me ‘sugar tits’ again, I’m going to rip your nipples off.
Male developer #1: Okay, dumpling butt.
State and Water Streets
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
