Woman: …And I love him. But last night I was so embarrased — I farted while we were making love.
Girl: Ew! That’s so gross, you did not fart.
Woman: What the hell do you mean?
Girl: You queefed, okay?
4139 – 98 Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Dayton
Rich drunk guy: It’s more fun to inseminate someone than have your wife inseminated.
5200 State Line Road
Kansas City, Missouri
Employee #1: I went to the bathroom and I have a big hole, right in the middle of my crotch.
Employee #2: We all do, sweetie. It’s called a vagina.
1907 West Sycamore Street
Kokomo, Indiana
Overheard by: vagina warrior
HR peon in charge of sexual harassment issues: Lucy*, it’s so good to see you! I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on!
Lucy: I just want everyone within earshot to know that she’s talking about seeing me at the gym, and not in any improper activity!
4850 Mark Center Drive
Alexandria, Virginia
Co-worker: Can I move your long lovely legs and get some out of your drawers?
Co-worker: Do you ever have one of those days where you’re desperate to have something in your mouth?
Co-worker: I like sucking the mint out of the chocolate of Junior Mints…Don’t hate the skills!
750 First Street NE
Washington, DC
Techie #1: You know what’s better than eating girl scout cookies?
Techie #2: Eating girl scouts?
Techie #1: Um, I was going to say, “eating girl scout cookies with milk”.
Techie #2: Yeah, that’s pretty good too.
Techie #1: You’re a fucking sicko.
1 Wall Street
Madison, Connecticut
Overheard by: ^chi^
Word Processor: Critical Notes are great. They just pop right up and come in your face!
120 Wall Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Chaser0
Ugly lady: He only comes over and fucks me when he’s really, really angry.
Friend: Oh. Jeez.
Ugly lady: So that’s as wrong as I think it is?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Student: Let’s play the penis game!
Religion class, All Saints High School
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Engineer: Holy shit! I just measured twelve shafts!
5810 Nancy Ridge Drive
San Diego, California
