Male coworker #1: So, what do you even do back there, Allen*?
Male coworker #2: Apart from sifting through all of that mail.
Male coworker #1: And making photocopies.
Allen: Watch porn and whack off.
Male coworker #1, laughing: Seriously?
Allen: Hell yeah.
Male coworker #1: Dude. You’re my idol.
Office on 48th Avenue
New York, New York
Office chick: You know what the best part of getting McDonald's is? Just when you think you're done, you find five or six bonus fries in the bottom of the bag.
Office dude: It's the simple pleasures for you, huh?
Office chick: Oh yeah, nothing better! Something small and salty to snack on!
Office dude, filled with innuendo: In that case, I have another bonus fry for you to enjoy.
Office chick: Seriously? I think you just admitted to having a small dick.
Figueroa St
Los Angeles, California
50-something man: Well, I have to tell you: for a woman in her 50s, you still look great.
50-something woman, flattered: Yeah?
50-something man: Oh, yeah. If we weren't both married, and you didn't work for me, I'd definitely try to nail ya.
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Employee: A customer wants to know if she can have a custom doorhanger.
Manager: She can have her slits and holes wherever she wants them.
5409 N. Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Julia Westenzweig
Male coworker: Hey, Liz*, let’s go to the movies tonight.
Female coworker: Are you gonna pay?
Male coworker: Are you gonna put out?
277 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Office guy, yelling to another office: Hey, whatcha doin' in there?
Naïve girl: Putting my computer together.
Office guy: Are you on the floor?
Naïve girl: Yeah, why?
Office guy: On your knees? (starts laughing)
High Point, North Carolina
Woman carrying heavy files: I need to go down to the branch and drop this off.
Man: Hello–I can help you carry that.
Woman: Aww! You had me at “hello”!
Man: You had me at “go down”!
Melville, New York
Mechanic: Did you put lube in it?
Customer: I put all the lube in she would take.
1301 Highway 501 East
Conway, South Carolina
Camera assistant: Your dog’s getting drunk off my pants.
Culver City, California
Coworker to another: Let him touch and feel it, because that is really what is going to get him excited.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: J-Man 88
