Professor walking into new chemistry building: Whoa, is this an optical illusion or is this reality?!
University of Arizona, Tucson
Overheard by: Rasputin
Professor walking into new chemistry building: Whoa, is this an optical illusion or is this reality?!
University of Arizona, Tucson
Overheard by: Rasputin
Statistician: They’re lying. Unless everything we believe about the world is untrue.
Chelsea
New York City, New York
Investment broker: My kid’s a socialist. He’d rather hang out with his friends than ski with us.
Portland Square
Portland, Maine
Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.
Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon
Undergrad: If I shit a brick, what would the geologists think of it?
Men’s room, University of Iowa
Iowa
Boss: The thing I love about Fiona* is that you’ll offer her a stick and she’ll immediately grab the wrong end.
Chislehurst, Kent
England
Overheard by: Bob Cat
Female finance analyst: … And it’s all about titties and beer. [In squeaky little voice] Titties! Titties! Titties!
700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas
CEO discussing a potential partner: I think they’re more pregnant with us than they’d care to admit.
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Cube rat: Well, change your diaper and move on. That’s what I always say.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker: Wow, you have a totally different view of the world when you’re wearing pants…
Boulder, Colorado
