Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.
Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon
Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.
Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon
Undergrad: If I shit a brick, what would the geologists think of it?
Men’s room, University of Iowa
Iowa
Boss: The thing I love about Fiona* is that you’ll offer her a stick and she’ll immediately grab the wrong end.
Chislehurst, Kent
England
Overheard by: Bob Cat
Female finance analyst: … And it’s all about titties and beer. [In squeaky little voice] Titties! Titties! Titties!
700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas
CEO discussing a potential partner: I think they’re more pregnant with us than they’d care to admit.
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Cube rat: Well, change your diaper and move on. That’s what I always say.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker: Wow, you have a totally different view of the world when you’re wearing pants…
Boulder, Colorado
Office grunt on phone: I absolutely agree… with myself!
1 Howard Street
Burlington, Vermont
Vice president: I know it’s a hellhole, but it’s my hellhole.
198 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Psycho parent: Look, you’re not in his resource time, so he can’t get help from you then.
Teacher: Yes, well, I’m teaching another class, so I can’t be there.
Psycho parent: I know it’s not your fault, but don’t you feel like you should take some responsibility for that?
High school
Sterling, Virginia
