May I Suggest Decaf, Sir?

Suit: Why do we have Swiss Miss and Nesquik?
Warehouse guy: Ummm, they’re not the same thing.
Suit: How so? They both make hot chocolate!
Warehouse guy: Well, maybe cause Swiss Miss goes in milk and water?
Suit: So why don’t we just keep this around? It’s a multi-tasking hot chocolate!
Warehouse guy: Huh? Ummm, well, maybe people like the way Nesquik ‘multi-tasks.’ It can be put in cold or hot milk. Good for the summer.
Suit: And this can’t?
Warehouse guy: Dunno. Don’t think so…
Suit: Forget it! I’ll have coffee!

The Boulevard
Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: CoffeeJunky

Posted on July 29, 2015
Blue Collar, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Philosophy, Questions, Suits, Virginia

Thank God for Women Who Don’t Know Any Better

Salesman: You know, customers who want their parts on time and in decent condition really get on my nerves.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on July 29, 2015
Cubicles, General Idiocy, Gripes, North Carolina, Philosophy, Sales, Time Management

We're a Government Office

Office manager to bookkeeper: If things made sense around here, it wouldn't make sense!

San Carlos, California

Posted on July 27, 2015
Bosses, California, General Idiocy, Philosophy

4PM Finalize Itineraries

Grunt: Can I get those itineraries?
Agent: No, life’s a bitch.
Grunt: Life’s what you make of it, not what it makes of you.

3675 Ruffin Road
San Diego, California

Posted on July 23, 2015
California, Coworkers, Philosophy

9AM It’s One of Those Wednesdays…

VP Software Development: In my opinion you don’t have to be good at what you do to be a good manager.

2 East Main Street
Danville, Illinois

Posted on July 22, 2015
Executives, Illinois, Philosophy

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: I do things my way because that’s what works best for me.
Co-worker #2: Huh?

1 Embarcadero Center
San Francisco, California

Posted on July 15, 2015
Coworkers, Feelings, Philosophy

Ask BP

Engineer: Guys in suits should never be allowed to touch differential equations!

Orlando, Florida

Posted on July 14, 2015
Engineers, Florida, Philosophy, Science, Wishes

9AM Back to Work

Boss: You know me, if I want to pick up my right foot I first step on my left foot so that I have a back-up to lift with.
Employee: I see you have a belt and suspenders.
Boss: Exactly.

510 Adams Street
Sheboygan Falls, Wisconsin

Posted on July 11, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Philosophy, Wisconsin

10AM Team Meeting

Manager: We will have a meeting later on to make sure everyone is happy.
Employee: But today is [Kelly]’s turn to be happy, not mine…I can pretend to be happy.

8 The Grove
Slough, Berkshire
UK

Posted on July 11, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Philosophy, UK

In Reality, Nobody Wins Existential Hockey

Male worker #1, after a meeting: Wanna play hockey?
Female worker: Where’s the goal?
Male worker #1: This is existential hockey. There is no goal. You win when you decide you’ve won.
Female worker: Okay. I’ve won, then.
Male worker #1: Okay.
Male worker #2: They always win.
Male worker #1: That’s true. We can’t win. We’re really not even playing for the same stakes, are we?

800 California Avenue
Sunnyvale, California

Overheard by: Alan

Posted on July 10, 2015
California, Coworkers, Default, Philosophy

Philosophy