Supervisor: You just blew a perfect opportunity to lie and get back into the trust tree.
500 North Gulph Road
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Dave
Supervisor: You just blew a perfect opportunity to lie and get back into the trust tree.
500 North Gulph Road
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Dave
English professor to secretary: According to my college transcript, I took a course in my freshman year called “introduction to drugs”. I have no recollection of this course, and I wonder why.
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: English Major
Manager to another: She sews a lot. Does she have a lot of cats or children?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: betsyvonawesome
Little boy looking at stuffed animal: Look, Mommy, it’s the monkey that comes out of your butt!
Mother: Yes, it’s the monkey that flies out of your ass. That’s why we’re not going back to Chuck E. Cheese’s.
Learning Express
Exton, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: Will someone please tell me what the fuck is wrong with [Josh]? When he gets up in the morning does he have some kind of funhouse mirror? Does he fucking see Tom Cruise when he looks in the mirror in the morning? Because when I look at him I just see an asshole.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: He is bullshiting everyone and saying he slept with the new CSR.
Co-worker #2: Does it really matter? She don’t speak English!
2801 Red Lion Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Woman in next cube: It was used, too, which is kind of gross. But it works! It gets in those little cracks!
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Don'tWannaKnow
(coworker #2 has just returned from a two-hour meeting)
Coworker #1: How was the meeting?
Coworker #2: My hemorrhoids are okay until we get to the 1:45 mark. Then I get that itchy twitchy feeling.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lola
Coworker #1: Go fist yourself.
Coworker #2: You love saying that. I think we should start a national campaign using that slogan!
Coworker #1: I like that idea. We just need someone who’s willing to appear on a billboard with their fist up their ass…
Both coworkers: Carl*!
Route 22 and Colonial Road
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Nathan
Assistant to another: You ever have someone come up to you and give you a present from their diaper?
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Topsy Krets
Boss: Ah, you’re wearing a tie-dyed shirt.
Office girl: Isn’t it nice?
Boss: Yeah. Hey, doesn’t that circle remind you of Jake’s* asshole?
Office girl: Wait, what?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
