Pennsylvania

Sales manager: Being an alcoholic is much cheaper than being married.

Tanbark Drive
Greentown, Pennsylvania

Coworker #1: What is that, you heart monitor or something?
Coworker #2: No, it's Window's Media Player.

Media, Pennsylvania

Underling: So do I submit my yearly review to you or Robert?
Boss: Why are you being so anal about the reviews? They don't matter anyway.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Teacher: Does anyone know what Sputnik was?
Student: That’s, like, a dog, right?

High school
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kong

IT guy #1: What is boxing day, anyway?
IT guy #2: Well, I Wikipedia-ed it and could only gather that it either has to do with killing birds, beating up servant girls, or selling off Christmas stuff nobody wants.

650 Park Avenue
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Dani

Coworker #1: I love Ben Franklin!
Coworker #2: Me too. He's my favorite scientist!
Coworker #1: You should have a poster of him, and it could say something like “Monsters of Science.”
Boss: What?
Coworker #2: Oh, Ben Franklin is our favorite scientist.
Boss: Oh, I thought you were talking about some hunk.

Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Male coworker: I'm taking a Zumba class at the gym tonight.
Female coworker, deadpan: Isn't that what women do?
Male coworker, ignoring: They have this one thing where they make you link arms, and everyone is all covered in sweat.
Female coworker, still deadpan: You're going to get ringworm.

Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania

Black guy: What would you say if I said I wanted to get a Mystic Tan?
Tanning consultant: Oh, you could. It would give you a nice glow.
Black guy: You’re not even going to discourage me?! I would never get a spray on tan. The blacker you are, the higher people assume your crime rate is.

North 222 Plaza
Reading, Pennsylvania

Older, proper female professor #1, giggling: Well, I guess after that I should probably just invest in a new turkey baster.
Older, proper female professor #2: I should say so, my dear.

Swarthmore, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: This place is killing me…

Customer: You know we try to idiot-proof everything around here, but God keeps making smarter idiots.

500 Hertzog Boulevard
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania