Coworker on phone: Honest? I am very honest. I am also very loyal to the company I work for. I give 110% to them every day.
Pause
Coworker on phone: Sure, I can interview with you tomorrow morning.
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Receptionist: [Jake] from Queer Image is on line one for you.
Coworker: [Jake] from where?
Receptionist: Queer Image.
Coworker: Queer Image?
Receptionist: Uh-huh.
Coworker, giggling, picks up call: [Jake], what company did you say you were calling from? Ohhhhh, CLEAR Image.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: She cracks me up, and she’s not even trying
Coworker: Quit calling me at work, grandma!
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
Suit on cell to his niece: Did I hear you scored five goals in your last game? Do you have any idea how grateful to me you should be for your athletic ability?
4555 Central Avenue
Columbus, Indiana
Chief accountant on phone: No, this is not a business. This is the U.S. government.
1660 S Columbian Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Rogue Peanut
Web designer on phone: It says “new as of date.” What does “as of” mean?
1800 Ninth Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Man on cell: You’re just a social maggot. [Sweetly] Just a social magnet, that’s what I meant to say.
2 Clock Tower Place
Maynard, Massachusetts
Co-worker #1, speaking loudly on headset phone: Well, yeah, I can totally relate to backlog problems! I mean during that refi boom we were just wall to wall with boxes full of papers. We were up to our necks in papers! If the fire marshal would’ve come in here, I’m pretty positive that he would’ve shut us down!
Co-worker #2: Should he really be saying that to our vendors?
Co-worker #3: Well, if we ever get closed down due to our vendors calling the fire department on us, at least we’ll know who to thank for the days off.
1350 Deming Way
Middleton, Wisconsin
Worker on phone: I don’t care if you threw up or not, I’m not canceling that dentist appointment…Well, take some Tums and go anyway. If you have to throw up again, throw up on them; who cares?
321 Norristown Road
Ambler, Pennsylvania
Boss on phone: If I ever do something that dumb again I want you to hit me. Hit me like a woman!
1621 18th Street
Denver, Colorado
