Chief accountant on phone: No, this is not a business. This is the U.S. government.
1660 S Columbian Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Rogue Peanut
Chief accountant on phone: No, this is not a business. This is the U.S. government.
1660 S Columbian Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Rogue Peanut
Web designer on phone: It says “new as of date.” What does “as of” mean?
1800 Ninth Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Man on cell: You’re just a social maggot. [Sweetly] Just a social magnet, that’s what I meant to say.
2 Clock Tower Place
Maynard, Massachusetts
Co-worker #1, speaking loudly on headset phone: Well, yeah, I can totally relate to backlog problems! I mean during that refi boom we were just wall to wall with boxes full of papers. We were up to our necks in papers! If the fire marshal would’ve come in here, I’m pretty positive that he would’ve shut us down!
Co-worker #2: Should he really be saying that to our vendors?
Co-worker #3: Well, if we ever get closed down due to our vendors calling the fire department on us, at least we’ll know who to thank for the days off.
1350 Deming Way
Middleton, Wisconsin
Worker on phone: I don’t care if you threw up or not, I’m not canceling that dentist appointment…Well, take some Tums and go anyway. If you have to throw up again, throw up on them; who cares?
321 Norristown Road
Ambler, Pennsylvania
Boss on phone: If I ever do something that dumb again I want you to hit me. Hit me like a woman!
1621 18th Street
Denver, Colorado
Junior Help Desk Agent: Nothing makes her happy. All she does is complain. I would hate to be her husband.
Senior Help Desk Agent: Uh, Joe, that is the speakerphone button, not the on-hold button.
User on speaker: Do you think you can stop ranting and help “the bitch” now?
8001 Development Drive
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: EL Gee
Attorney on phone: I’m good, [Jeff]. I’m riding my bike with a glass of wine in my hand on my way to a strip club…No sorry, I don’t know anything about that. I’m too busy mismanaging my files and harrassing my staff to get to that.
999 3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Co-worker on phone: Hello?…Do I have a minute to come up for a second?
385 Benedict Street
Port Townsend, Washington
Worker on phone: When can you come in today?…Well, I don’t know how long it takes to file an Apprehended Violence Order.
94 Todd Street
Alice Springs, Northern Territory
Australia
Overheard by: Daniel Waudby
