Yet This George Foreman Grill Is Not As Handy As Expected

Cubicle rat on phone: I expect a white man to lie to me, not a black guy.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Greg

Posted on April 12, 2023
Employees, Lies, New York, On the phone, Race

It Wasn’t an Open-Floor Test

Teacher on phone with parent: Mrs. Jones*, I’m not saying Billy* cheated. All I’m saying is he had a sheet of paper with the answers to the test on the floor under his desk, and every few minutes he leaned over and looked at it. And I don’t allow that kind of studying.

Bayport, New York

Posted on April 10, 2023
New York, On the phone, Teachers

That's Not What This Trip to the Planetarium Is Supposed to Be About

Suit on cell: I don't want you shooting blanks in the dark…

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Traci C

Posted on April 8, 2023
New York, On the phone, Sexuality, Suits, Weirdness

…This Is Why I Have You on My Staff.

Engineer on phone to pumper: You gotta have the sucking and the blowing. (pause) Does he have liquid? (pause) That's why you gotta keep on blowing and sucking. (pause) Yeah, great, thanks.

Dallas, Texas

Posted on April 7, 2023
Advice, Engineers, On the phone, Sexuality, Texas, Words

But I Guess It’s Not Like Anyone’s Listening

Child welfare worker on cell: I won’t be over at my client’s place long. I just need to go there real quick and see her child naked… Maybe I shouldn’t say this in the middle of a mall.

Woodland Hills Mall
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Bob

Posted on April 4, 2023
Oklahoma, On the phone, Possible Sexual Harassment

Who’s on (Safety) First?

Receptionist: Hello! Thank you for calling Avon Safety*, where safety comes first. How may I direct your call?
Voice #1: How do I direct the call?
Voice #2: [indecipherable]Voice #1: I don’t know. That’s all it says…
Receptionist: Hello? This is not a recording.
Voice #1: She said it’s a recording.
Receptionist: No! This is not a recording! Hello?
Voice #1: What do I do?
Voice #2: Hang up.

Avon, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Fae

Posted on March 21, 2023
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Massachusetts, On the phone, Receptionists, Technology

We’re Gonna Miss Him When He Retires. Or Dies

Man: *Erica, the phone’s for you.
Old coworker: What?
Man: It’s for *Erica!
Old man: Oh, ok. [picks up the phone] Hello?… Oh, hold on. [puts phone down] *Erica, the phone’s for you!

Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC