Unix Admin #1: Hey [Garth], are you hung?
Unix Admin #2: Yeah, I would say that we all are.
8001 Development Drive
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
Unix Admin #1: Hey [Garth], are you hung?
Unix Admin #2: Yeah, I would say that we all are.
8001 Development Drive
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
Girl #1: There is so much secondhand smoke here that it’s going to kill us eventually.
Girl #2: That’s for sure!
Girl #1: It’s okay, though. I have life insurance.
Local bar
Burlington, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bartender Snickering Nearby
Coworker on phone: Fool me once, shame on… you. (pause) Fool me… the second one is where it’s my fault.
Thurston Avenue
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Audrey
Cube dweller #1: Those guys out there in the warehouse are nice and seem to be doing well, but I don’t know that any of them are going to go out of their way to be helpful.
Cube dweller #2: You mean ‘proactive.’
Cube dweller #1: Well, yeah…
Cube dweller #2: Jack* [warehouse guy] used that term with me once — ‘proactive.’
Cube dweller #1: Uh-oh, maybe the drama out there is his fault.
Cube dweller #2: See, I always thought it was something Jessica Simpson used on her face, but he used it in a totally different way.
Cube dweller #1: … There’s no words to answer you right now…
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Sales assistant #1: My dad came over this last weekend and wormed Annabelle for me.
Office manager: Why did your dad have to do it?
Sales assistant #2: Is this your aunt?
Office manager: Don’t you just give her a pill?
Sales assistant #1: No, you put it up her… poo.
Sales assistant #2: Ummm…
Sales assistant #3: It’s an animal, Ed*!
Sales assistant #1: My dad wormed Josie, too. He has to put the medicine up the dog’s tushy.
Sales assistant #2: Ohhh, okay, I thought this was her aunt. I’m okay now.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Tenured faculty guy: You know you really should start attending faculty meetings.
Non-tenured faculty guy: Why? I’m not allowed to vote on any departmental issues.
Tenured faculty guy: It would still be professionally instructive for you to attend.
Non-tenured faculty guy: But I’m already aware of the fact that this department is full of petulant egomaniacs.
Department of Mathematics
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Male staff #1: Hey, check out that butterfly on the window sill.
Male staff #2: Wow! That’s cool. Man, I’m not trying to sound girly, but butterflies are beautiful. I have this bush outside my house that they just love, and it’s so cool to watch them.
Male staff #1: Yeah, man, seriously. I’m not going to be covering my car with butterfly stickers, but butterflies do kick ass.
Male staff #2: Totally.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: a butterfly
Manager: How is your monitor? It's not very old, right?
Cubicle chick: It works, yeah.
Manager: I'm going to get everyone flat screens eventually, but I'm going to do it two or three at a time.
Cubicle chick: Awesome!
Manager: But yours looks pretty good for now.
Cubicle chick: I can break it if you want me to.
Manager: I'd rather…. you didn't.
Cubicle chick: Gotcha.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
IT guy to friend: I lost a job and a girlfriend to World of Warcraft…it was so worth it!
Asheville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah M.
Air hostess to another: No, I would not have sex with an elf.
Raleigh, North Carolina
