Consultant on phone: No, Sandy*, you are not allowed to take your pet chicken on the domestic flights.
Other line: [Muffled yelling.]Consultant: Sandy, I have already told you — even if it is in a cage, we do not allow pets in the cabin. Only guide dogs or police dogs. You will have to send it as cargo. [Other line hangs up.] Good God! Who the fuck wants to take a chicken away for summer vacation with them?!
Auckland
New Zealand
Employee #1: Give me an “h”! Give me an “o”! Give me an “n”! Give me an “o”! What does that spell?
Employee #2: “Hono”?
Employee #1: Yeah!
Department Store
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sars
Office bimbette: So, my friend got me a Sudoku book, but I can’t start doing it yet because she has to send the Sudoku pencil. It has an eraser on the end — only Sudoku makes them that way.
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Teacher #1: I think I should just become a hooker.
Teacher #2: Yeah, but think of the all the washing you would have to do.
New Zealand
Shift supervisor: What are you doing?
Intense coworker: Working on my sparkle.
Shift supervisor: Your what?
Intense coworker: Once I sparkle, all the girls will want me! (turns to female coworker) C'mon, do I dazzle you?
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Still Not Dazzled
Technical support worker on phone: I am not a robot!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: RockJonny
Boss: Have triplets at once, get it over and done with.
Accountant: I'll have my kids one at a time, thanks.
Wellington
New Zealand
Reporter to reporter: Well, I'm not going to pull if I've got a bung eye.
New Zealand
Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it'd be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn't do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
Female team leader: Hey, Mark. I've been thinking…
Male team leader: Uh-oh. That's not good.
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Derf
