50-ish coworker: Oh, ‘Shelly’… I thought it said her name was Shirley Temple. You know who Shirley Temple is?
20-ish coworker: Wasn’t she the detective who went around solving crimes? No, wait, that’s Sherlock Holmes.
31 Chambers Street
New York, New York
Whitest white girl talking to black store manager: You will see me at your store, fo' sho'… Er… for sure.
Hawthorne, New York
CEO: Guys, guys–no monkeys, we're calling the White House.
New York City, New York
Processor: Can I have the Human Resources Department please?
Young receptionist: Human resources?
Processor: Yeah. Personnel, human resources..
Young receptionist: I think you have the wrong number, you need to call the hospital for that. (hangs up)
Lake Katrine, New York
Judge: So what does your wife do for a living?
Potential juror: Nothing.
Judge: She does nothing?
Potential juror: Nope.
Judge: Do you have kids?
Potential juror: Yes.
Judge: Yeah, she does “nothing”.
265 East 161st Street
Bronx, New York
Overheard by: John
Attorney to older male clerk: Remember, they have to be issued before April!
Female paralegal to older male clerk: You're gonna have to show cleavage at the court!
Older male clerk: I tried that once; they took eight weeks!
Female legal assistant, muttering: There's your mental image for the rest of the day!
Law Offices
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Cubed Up Nearby
Worker #1: So did I answer your question?
Worker #2: No, but you entertained me.
242 West 36th Street
New York, NY
Office bimbette: Did you use your new pen yet? Did you smell it?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Male employee: Oh, I’m sorry. I could’ve scared you and you could’ve fallen.
Female employee sitting in an open, screenless window: That’s okay, you didn’t scare me.
Male employee: You look like you’re going to jump. Please don’t jump out the window. We really need someone to answer the phones.
98th Street and West End
New York, New York
Overheard by: adrienne
Employer: I don't like open packages lying around, it creates bugs.
Employee: That's why I always roll and tape back my nuts.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Nathalie
