New York

Exec assistant on phone: They’re gay boys, so… you know… maybe a little more stainless steel…

47th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York

Canadian arborist: Check it out. I can streamline the camera in the town square back at home in Brandon. I called my dad and told him to drive by and wave. Sometimes, if you watch long enough, you can see someone crash.

Westchester, New York

Cabbie yelling out window to guy who cut him off: Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! Your mother is a puta! [Gets out at red light, walks to offender’s car, points his butt at and simulates farting on the car, then gets back into cab and yells out window again.] You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee! You have no pee-pee!

Outside White Plains train station
New York

Overheard by: ccampoll

Chick to coworker: Ohhh, okay. Maybe she should stop getting f-ed in the nose. It’s only gonna make her uglier.

Upper West Side
New York, New York

Administrator (filling water bottle at cooler): Hey.
Office worker (walking by): Hey.
Administrator: How are you?
Office worker: Good.
Administrator: How is the baby?
Office worker: Fat.

Hanover Square
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Mr. Uncreative

50-ish coworker: Oh, ‘Shelly’… I thought it said her name was Shirley Temple. You know who Shirley Temple is?
20-ish coworker: Wasn’t she the detective who went around solving crimes? No, wait, that’s Sherlock Holmes.

31 Chambers Street
New York, New York

Whitest white girl talking to black store manager: You will see me at your store, fo' sho'… Er… for sure.

Hawthorne, New York

CEO: Guys, guys–no monkeys, we're calling the White House.

New York City, New York

Processor: Can I have the Human Resources Department please?
Young receptionist: Human resources?
Processor: Yeah. Personnel, human resources..
Young receptionist: I think you have the wrong number, you need to call the hospital for that. (hangs up)

Lake Katrine, New York

Judge: So what does your wife do for a living?
Potential juror: Nothing.
Judge: She does nothing?
Potential juror: Nope.
Judge: Do you have kids?
Potential juror: Yes.
Judge: Yeah, she does “nothing”.

265 East 161st Street
Bronx, New York

Overheard by: John