Co-worker #1: How was your lunch?
Co-worker #2: It was okay. We had an old Greek waitress. I didn’t care for her too much.
Co-worker #1: Was it the fact that she was old or Greek?
Co-worker #2: It was a combination. Greeks are a weird people.
444 Park Avenue South
New York, NY
Guy on phone: We got new digs over here! Yeah, we moved out of the building with all the hot woman and into a big corporate building!
1166 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Manager: It's complicated to be me today.
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
New hire looking at spreadsheet: So, the blue fields are–
Supervisor, interrupting: –Blue? That’s not blue, it’s cyan. Are you colorblind?
430 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Roy G. Biv
Proofreader #1: Is this a word?
Proofreader #2: No.
Proofreader #1: Then what is it?
140 East 45th Street
New York, New York
Attorney on phone: Hi, sweetie. I’m going to come pick you up after school tomorrow to take you to your appointment… Well, Mommy was going to, but she’s too important to leave the office, and I’m not that important, so I can leave.
1 World Financial Center
New York, New York
White coworker: So, you’re from Baltimore, right?
Black coworker: No, everyone thinks all there is to Maryland is Baltimore. I’m actually from a small town called Upper Marlboro, which is closer to D.C.
White coworker: Really? Baltimore is cool. Is where you’re from like Baltimore?
Black coworker: Oh, no, it’s very different. In fact, people from Baltimore don’t like people from P.G. so much. They say we’re bourgeois, stuck up, and that we act like white people. But we don’t act white, we just have money.
29th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Laughing inside
Man: It's green!
Woman: It's blue.
Man: You know men are color blind.
Woman: Not *real* men:
Man: The big ones are!
Penn Plaza
New York City, New York
Overheard by: That's what she said
Female coworker #1: By that time I was drunk enough to run in there myself. So I bought one of 'em. It was like a regular condom, but it had these little pink things…
Female coworker #2: You bought a french tickler?
Female coworker #1: Yeah! So we blew it up at our table and started using it as a volleyball. It was really fun for a while, and then I spiked it into the priest's head and we were asked to leave the reception.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Doubled over Coworker
Manager to three people working in cubicle: What are you all doing in here?!
Male coworker: There’s a dead mouse in my cube.
Lady coworker: This is Keith*. He’s a temp, but there’s nowhere for him to sit, so they’re all in my cube.
Manager: What are you doing about the mouse?!
Male coworker: Some guy came up and removed the filing cabinets and found the mouse. But he had to call a guy in another union to come and pick up the mouse.
Manager: What the fuck? This is unbelievable.
Lady coworker: It’s like an overcrowded prison in here.
Manager: Oh, I’ll show you prison [leaves].
Keith: Is she mad?
Male coworker: Isn’t this fun?
777 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
