New York

Chick: I never understood the design of that thing, but I've had it in my mouth a thousand times.
Dude: Yeah, me too.

Dental Office
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: I've never had it in mouth

Agent #1: So, I see this girl, you know, in the grocery store. And she’s just this freak of a girl. A tall, thin freak. And it’s like this beam of light just descends on her, basking her in the smell of success. You know those moments?
Agent #2: The moments where you see tall, thin freaks?
Agent #1: Well, yeah — it’s like time stands still and you know you’ve just gotten the gold.
Agent #2: Yeah. It’s a religious experience.
Agent #1: Completely. Completely religious.

Outside DNA modeling agency, 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Wholesale meat salesman to customer on phone: We've got 12-inch weiners on special.

Fairbank Road
Ashville, New York

Paralegal #1: I’m not sure what’s going on with the boxes, they kind of keep me in the dark about these things.
Paralegal #2: Yes…they do treat us like mushrooms.

200 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: GJG

Suit #1: He was an okay analyst and he knew a lot about the markets, but–
Suit #2, interrupting: –So what was the problem?
Suit #1: Well, he was from the South so he couldn’t write very well.

110 Wall Street
New York, New York

Cube girl on phone: And I’m having a really bad day. I just licked an interoffice envelope.

New York, New York

Co-worker #1: “Telephony”? Really? That’s a word?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I know. I hate when words that usually end in “e” suddenly end in “y.” It’s like finding yourself in a world with neither floor nor ceiling.
Co-worker #1: …You’re freakin’ nuts, dude.

105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Dani

Coworker #1: This weekend I was Wiiing for Jesus.
Coworker #2: What the hell? You took a piss for God?
Coworker #1: No, you moron — Nintendo Wii. I played at my church’s youth group fair… You are one sick bitch.

Binghamton University
New York, New York

Overheard by: Cube Farmer

Data manager to minion: Body parts aren’t nearly as uncomfortable as homicide.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: AureateCalyx

Boss: How was your day?
Employee miming pointing a gun to his head: Know what I mean? But it’s over now.
Boss: My father killed himself six months ago.
Employee: Did he use a gun?

47 Catherwood Road
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: I prefer the