Big fat receptionist: Ooh what is that?
Office worker #1: A caramel mochiatto from Starbucks.
Big fat receptionist: I hope you brought me one!
Office worker #2: Do you have any idea how many calories are in one of those?
200 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Sebastian O’Conner
Ad lady: Yeah, I was always the one who rolled around on the floor and threw myself under a truck, but not anymore.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Coworker: Yes, I ordered Italian ice from your menu…Oh, so you don’t have any more Italian ice. Hmmm, what else would I like?…Oh, you don’t have Italian ice, but you have iced tea?…um, what?
1251 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Female coworker: Oh my god, I just skooged all over you! I just shot my load!
(office is silent)
Female coworker: I was squishing my lotion and I even got it on my watch.
Manhattan, New York
Worker #1: There he goes, tossing his salad again. Isn’t that a phrase? Doesn’t that mean something? “Tossing the salad”?
Temp: Yes, it’s a phrase.
Worker #1: But what does it mean? Is it like, “I’m gonna kick your ass”? “I’m gonna toss your salad”?
Temp: Um, not exactly.
Worker #2: Yeah, I’ve heard that, too. What does that mean? Do you know?
Temp: Yes, I know, but it’s kind of inappropriate for work.
Worker #1: Oh really? What does it mean?
Temp: It’s inappropriate for work.
Worker #1: Oh come on, just tell me.
Temp: Well, it’s…analingus.
Worker #1: Oh. Really?
Worker #2: I never heard that.
Worker #1: “I’m gonna toss your salad”. Huh.
Worker #3: …If anyone was made uncomfortable by this conversation, come talk to me later.
900 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Woman: Wow! You sure do know how to type. You’re typing 100 hours a mile! It’s amazing!
2 Rector Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Larry Flores
Trashy girl: What time do you close? 10?
Laundromat owner: 9:30.
Trashy girl: Well… Could you like, stay open until 10? So I could get my clothes?
Laundromat owner: (blank stare)
Trashy girl: I mean, could you just, like, not close with my clothes still in here?
Laundromat owner: Lady, as soon as that clock hits 9:30, we out of here.
Queens, New York
Boss: …Right where a woman belongs!
Co-worker: Where’s that, [Kevin]?
Boss: In the kitchen!
Co-worker: Oh, you did not just say that!
Boss: No, you’re right…I didn’t.
1345 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Co-worker: That’s it — I’m getting nose glasses.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
