Professor: I like nuns. Nuns taught me to the play the clarinet. So I love nuns!
Suffolk County Community College, New York
Overheard by: Rachel
Angry office drone: Don’t fuck up the entire presentation… It will be really hard to unfuck!
Latham
New York
Sales girl: Oh my God, this girl came in today and she was from, like, China or something, and on the credit card receipt she signed her name in, like, Japanese!
Manager: Ew! You're in America! Come on, learn English!
Ithaca, New York
Female coworker: So, how was it?
Male coworker: Oh my god. We put the phone on mute and talked amongst ourselves. The other two people left the room, I don't know where they are.
Female coworker: Painful, right?
Male coworker: St. Patrick used that presentation to drive the snakes out of Ireland. He played it and after an hour the snakes had enough.
Female coworker: He's the worst. I have no idea how someone allows him to put his pistol in their holster.
Male coworker: I like that one. I would rather beat off with a cheese grater than listen to that again.
Manhattan, New York
Suit #1: Yo, you tried that new Office?
Suit #2: What?
Suit #1: That new Microsoft Office 2008, 2009 or whatever.
Suit #2: Yeah.
Suit #1: That shit is hot!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: algernon
Exasperated boss on phone: Well that's great, Jake. Maybe I should go downstairs and slam my head in the car door a few times.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Girl #1: Did somebody fart?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Oh wait, never mind, that's just somebody's food.
New York City, New York
Coworker: I can't believe you used to swallow them!
Hicksville, New York
Overheard by: HR Laughing
Moderately surprised office person: Huh? A fly just flew up my nose!
Barely interested office person: Is that right?
Moderately surprised office person: Yeah! It was buzzing around and went right in my nose!
Barely interested office person: That must have been surprising.
Moderately surprised office person: It was!
Barely interested office person: I have some dead flies in some vinegar over here.
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Just buzzing
