Woman to coworker: Did I tell you? My New Year's resolution is to always remember to wash my hands before I leave the bathroom.
Princeton, New Jersey
Woman to coworker: Did I tell you? My New Year's resolution is to always remember to wash my hands before I leave the bathroom.
Princeton, New Jersey
Crotchety supervisor, holding up printed copy of e-mail: You two are computer nerds. What does this mean? (points at an emoticon)
Analyst #1: It's a smiley face.
Crotchety supervisor, turning the paper sideways: Oh, I see the colon is the eyes and…what the hell is wrong with you people? (crumples up e-mail and walks away)
Analyst #2: Have a nice day!
Oakland, New Jersey
Overheard by: >:(
Coworker #1: What are you talking about?
Coworker #2: I'm telling them how my parents almost aborted me.
Coworker #3, walking in: What are you guys talking about?
Coworker #2: It's a survival story!
Branchburg, New Jersey
Female no-nonsense suit: No kidding, Henry. I was just about to sleep with that Indian guy, and the Dow is down 400!
Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey
TSA agent at security checkpoint: Ladies and gentlemen, please remove all liquids and gels from your bag! Take off your shoes! And pay attention to that jewelry! That's right, if you have too much bling, you will ring! Let's speed this up here, people!
Airport
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: PetRunner
Salesperson: I find it mildly insulting that, like, the entire state of Florida does not call me back.
New Providence, New Jersey
Dingbell: I love shopping at Trader Joe's! Their frozen food is so fresh!
Carlstadt, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gary
Loud female coworker to other: That's a foot?! I thought it was a penis!
Somerville, New Jersey
Manager: How dare my BlackBerry not know how to spell “transvestite?” That's just rude.
Berkeley Heights
New Jersey
Annoyed boss, barging in to cubicle: You ignored my call?
Worker, glancing at phone: Huh? Oh…yeah, a little bit.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
