Male co-worker: It just ticks me off that Elmo is more popular than Grover. My other job was really boring, and one day I was fantasizing…
Female co-worker, interrupting: I think we’ve heard enough.
20890 Kenbridge Court
Lakeville, Minnesota
Overheard by: Gigi
Woman #1: Sometimes I like doing jobs like this.
Woman #2: Like what?
Woman #1: You know, mindless hand jobs.
380 Lafayette Road East
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: Krista
Boss exiting stall: I have to wipe piss off the floor at least five times a day!
Employee at urinal: Some people must shake it too hard.
Boss: They just plain miss the shot into the urinal. One time I came in here and someone had pissed all over on the floor, under the stall.
Employee: [Silence.]Boss: You know when someone jacks off and they don’t get it all out? It dries up. When you go to take your first piss after jacking off the stream gets split and it goes all over the place.
Employee: [Silence.]
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Horrified Handwasher
Co-worker: We had Burger King breakfast in Mexico and it had refried beans and peppers in the eggs.
Manager: They were probably goat’s eggs, not chicken eggs.
9353 Jefferson Highway
Maple Grove, Minnesota
Receptionist: For us it was never really about the torture. It was more about the ping pong, or table tennis if you will.
Hewitt, Minneapolis
Minnesota
Graphic Designer: So let me know when you can get me that FreeHand job, I’m not busy today.
Art Director: No problem.
650 South 6th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Coworker: So then he came home with all these bags of groceries, all proud, and after he got them all put away, I was like, ‘That’s not groceries! That’s meat and a pineapple!’
1450 Energy Park Drive
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: JoJo
HR person, filling out paperwork for new employee: I need to know the name of the bank to direct deposit your check to.
New employee, dumbfounded: Um, shoot, I can’t remember it. Oh, it’s the one connected to the liquor store!
Hanson Avenue
Albert Lea, Minnesota
Summer worker #1: I think I smoke too much weed.
Summer worker #2: Yeah… But at least you won’t get glaucoma.
Summer worker #3: What’s glaucoma?
Summer worker #1: It’s an eye disease. Maybe you should smoke more so you don’t get it.
Summer worker #3: But what about lung cancer?
Summer worker #2: Look, would you rather see or breathe?!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Perky female temp, walking over to supervisor's cubicle: Hey, I heard we got a new fax machine! Awesome!
Female supervisor: Yeah, it's pretty exciting. They're setting it up right now.
Male supervisor: There seems to be some erotic fascination with the new fax machine. Everyone's over there crowded around it.
(awkward silence)
Perky female temp: I'm gonna go look at it right now!
Female supervisor: Yeah, me too!
Bloomington, Minnesota
Overheard by: I'm pretty sure he meant
