11AM “State of the Company” Meeting

General Manager: It’s up to every one of you to better yourselves. You can either stay or grow!

1520 Front Street
Yorktown Heights, New York

Overheard by: miss eves dropping

Posted on July 28, 2019
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Meetings, New York

3PM Cellular Difficulty

Coworker: Okay, I’m headed out to the meeting. I have the cell phone if you need me…Does this have to be turned on, or will it turn itself on when a call comes in?

1001 North 19th Street
Arlington, Virginia

Posted on May 28, 2019
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meetings, Midsouth, Questions, Technology, Virginia

Honey, I’ll Be Late Tonight — Marketing the Firm Again

Owner: What kinds of social situations can you use to help market our firm?
Peon #1: I meet lots of guys at the bars and give them my cards — especially those in the construction fields.
Peon #2, as others laugh: He didn’t ask how you picked up men.
Peon #3: Is that why we never get any new projects?

Lincolnshire, Illinois

Overheard by: glad it wasn’t me

Posted on May 6, 2019
Bosses and Underlings, Illinois, Meetings

We Know It’s Gonna Be Good for Us

Manager: There is a difference between playing with ourselves and playing with our customers.

8033 Lory Student Center, Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Alli

Posted on April 9, 2019
Colorado, Dumb Bosses, Meetings, School

In a Perfect World…

Coworker #1: Where did you just go?
Coworker #2: I had to go get beer for a meeting.

Dallas, Texas

Posted on April 3, 2019
Coworkers, Drinking, Meetings, Questions, Texas

2PM “Meeting”

Office worker: Is this the meeting or the meeting about the meeting?

8687 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, California

Posted on March 6, 2019
California, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meetings, Questions

That’s Your Answer to Everything

Programmer: Okay, so he asked us for a digital signature solution to document tracking and approval… Ideas?
Analyst: What if we got a couple midgets, and bought a few Etch A Sketches…?

1932 Wildcat Canyon Road
San Diego, California

Posted on February 22, 2019
Advice, California, Dumb Employees, Meetings

Translation: You Are Mine, to Use and Abuse As I See Fit

Professor: So we'll have lab meeting on Monday, then.
Grad student: Um, that's Labor Day, so people will probably be away.
Professor: Away? Why?
Grad student: Because it's a federal holiday?
Professor: Well, we're not federal, so we don't take federal holidays.

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat