Meetings

Lady peon: Oh, for fuck’s sake! I’m going to have to draw on my breasts now.

Bolton, Lancashire
United Kingdom

Director: I have you down for 8AM.
Analyst: I can’t at that time. I have to drop off my son at day care.
Director: That’s okay, I’ll do you later.

4302 Town Center Boulevard
El Dorado Hills, California

Call leader: Whoever has your phone on hold, please take us off hold. We can hear the music.

151 Major Reynolds Place
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: mba

Manager: What time is my meeting with you?
Employee: I don't know. I got your e-mail, but didn't know you were talking about, so I deleted it.

Broadway & Walker
New York City

Overheard by: office peon hates meetings

Office assistant #1: So the boss has been in meetings all day–you must be having a good day?
Office assistant #2: Oh yes! I've been reading conspiracy theories on the internet for the last four hours. I've really learned a lot.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

GM: How were you days off?
Supervisor: Pretty good. Did some hiking.
GM: How was the conference?
Supervisor: What conference?
GM: I e-mailed you Wednesday about the loss prevention meeting on Thursday morning. I know it was short notice.
Supervisor: Thursday was my day off. Wednesday was my day off. I wasn’t here to check my e-mails.
GM: So you didn’t go to the mandatory meeting?
Supervisor: Um.
GM: You have to check your e-mail every day. No excuses.
Supervisor: I wasn’t here to check my e-mail.
GM: No excuses.

687 12th Street
Gresham, Oregon

Overheard by: I love 50 e-mails a day

Worker bee: There was an employee fitness challenge here today. Hilarity ensued.
Less productive bee: I imagine it would anytime you throw ’employee’ and ‘challenge’ together in one sentence.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Coworker, after scavenging through lunch meeting leftovers: My sandwich didn’t look very fulfilling so I added some corned beef.
Fellow scavenger: Wait -there was corned beef in there?
Coworker: No, I keep some in my office for emergencies.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Nook

Peon in meeting, after VP has announced new sales pitch: So we're basically ripping off customers.
(sudden group silence)

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Go!

Coworker, during meeting: For instance, if Bob had a dentist appointment, we would need someone to cover the phones that day.
Boss: Are you kidding? Bob doesn't go to the dentist, have you smelled his breath?

Los Angeles, California