3PM Assigning Personnel

Account manager: Hey, [the customer] wants us to come in and make a presentation. Are you available to come with me next week?
Sales director: No. What I’m planning to do is to put together an entire project team — sales, marketing, engineering, quality, manufacturing, maybe even finance. I want to show that we have a comprehensive cross-functional team in place, so that we look like we know what we’re doing, no matter that the customer asks.
Account manager: That sounds great. Who else is gonna be on the team?
Sales director: Well, it looks like just me and you for now. Ask me again next month.

28100 Cabot Drive
Novi, Michigan

Posted on May 28, 2020
Meetings, Michigan, Midwest, Sales

Wisconsin Enters the Age Of Fire

Boss in meeting room: Enough of the dragon talk, gentlemen.

Madison, Wisconsin

Posted on May 2, 2020
Animals, Bosses, Meetings, Weirdness, Wisconsin

Memo: Coed Naked Butter Wrestling No Longer Offered at Company Retreats

Heard in staff meeting: Grease up and let it slide off!

Support Building
Green Bay, Wisconsin

Overheard by: AMuseIng

Posted on April 15, 2020
Default, Meetings, Offers and requests, Wisconsin, Words

I Thought Allen Died Last Year?

Office drone #1: Hello, may I help you? (pause) Who? Allen Michaels?* Please hold.
(shouting) Does anyone know where Allen* is?
Office drone #2: He's not in yet. Don't know where he is.
Office drone #1: I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. He said he'll call you back. (pause) Yes, he knows it's urgent. Thank you. (hangs up)

Brooklyn
New York

Overheard by: Jay-B (I work in a wacky place)

Posted on April 4, 2020
Coworkers, Lies, Meetings, New York, On the phone

After the Fourth or Fifth Time, It Starts to Get Redundant

Front desk guy at staff meeting: Ah, yes… I'll shoot that one out to all of you by Friday.
Male office director: Oh, Michael, I love it when you talk dirty!
Female secretary: Erm… I'm not putting that in the minutes.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: taking notes

Posted on November 3, 2019
Admins, Bosses, Compliments, Coworkers, Massachusetts, Meetings, Weirdness, Words

Cigarette, Anyone?

CEO wrapping up a video conference: I just want to thank everyone for making this the best three-way I’ve ever had!

Traverse City, Michigan

Overheard by: Admin Assistant K

Posted on September 29, 2019
Bosses, Compliments, Default, Executives, Meetings, Michigan, Sexuality, Words

It Was the Politest Invasion in the History Of Warfare

Clerk: Do you have an appointment?
Customer: No, I'm Canadian.

Bellingham, Washington

Posted on August 14, 2019
Customer Support, Employees, Meetings, Questions, Washington, Weirdness

Or Will We Finally Get a Taste?

Suit to a group of coworkers who just crowded into elevator: Do you think we’ll get to talk about Matt’s nuggets at this morning’s meeting?

SoMa
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Green

Posted on August 7, 2019
California, Coworkers, Default, Meetings, Office Politics, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Suits

11AM “State of the Company” Meeting

General Manager: It’s up to every one of you to better yourselves. You can either stay or grow!

1520 Front Street
Yorktown Heights, New York

Overheard by: miss eves dropping

Posted on July 28, 2019
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Meetings, New York

3PM Cellular Difficulty

Coworker: Okay, I’m headed out to the meeting. I have the cell phone if you need me…Does this have to be turned on, or will it turn itself on when a call comes in?

1001 North 19th Street
Arlington, Virginia

Posted on May 28, 2019
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meetings, Midsouth, Questions, Technology, Virginia

Meetings