Co-worker: This place runs like a well-oiled banana.
3000 Mountain Creek Parkway
Dallas, Texas
Co-worker: This place runs like a well-oiled banana.
3000 Mountain Creek Parkway
Dallas, Texas
Office worker: Where are the Doritos?
Cube mate: Huh?
Office worker: I said: “where are the Doritos?”
Cube mate: Oh, I thought you said: “where are the dirty hoes?”
Yardley, Pennsylvania
Employee: First they stuff us with pie, then they expect us to work.
South Rainier
Seattle, Washington
Security guard to boss: Michael Jackson loved apricots. Don't forget.
Burbank, California
Ghetto-fab girl: Hey, is your chicken made with real chicken?
Employee: Uh… yes?
Ghetto-fab girl: Like, it’s made with the real chicken that lays eggs and stuff like that?
Employee: Yes, ma’am. The chicken is made with real, egg-laying chicken.
Food court, Westfield West County Mall
Des Peres, Missouri
Boss to others, while riding to lunch: You don't want to eat at Infinity, the only thing on the menu there is penis.
Pittsbrurgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Brad
Customer: Hey, where's my fucking wasabi, bitch?
Sushi girl: I don't think you asked for…
Manager: I don't know. But I can tell you this–it'll be up your fucking arse if your manners don't improve.
Sushi girl: Wanker!
Manager: Don't swear at work.
Adelaide, Australia
Coworker #1: Thanks for the tea.
Coworker #2: I didn't know how you like it so I just did it how I like it. Wet and warm is jut fine.
Dover
England
Coworker, about truffles for office-sponsored fundraiser: Okay then, so we'll have truffles rolled in espresso, red sprinkles and peanuts…wait, did we scratch the nuts?
Rice Lake, Wisconsin
Boss: I need two Excedrin and a Pepsi, stat!
Coworker, trying to be helpful: How about some cheese and nerds?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
