Office Manager: How do you go out to lunch and come back with a huge cucumber?
Employee: How do men go out at night and come back with hookers?
Office Manager: Huh?
Employee: It’s the same basic principle.
110 N. Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Joan
Man on phone: Man I saw plenty of dogs in Shanghai, and I gotta tell you they weren't eating them!
Chinatown
Washington, DC
President yelling at CFO: You eat an elephant one bite at a time, but we're trying to swallow it whole and we're starting with the tusks!
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Server: Are you ready?
Customer: I don’t know what I want. What do you like?
Server: When the customer makes up his mind and orders.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: I Like the Grilled Tuna
IT manager: I wish I worked in HR, they're always either eating cake or firing people.
New York City, New York
Female coworker: Neil, you said you'd eat me last week.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: T Con
Coworker #1: Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?
Coworker #2: Miracle Whip. If I'm going to eat a bowl of mayonnaise, I'm going totally cracker–Iowa style.
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Amused and Grossed Out
Colleague, in distress: Oh my gosh! It squirted me! I cannot believe there is egg all over my face!
Orlando, Florida
Old German woman: Do you have any coffee grinders?
Starbucks barista: No, we don't sell them here.
Old German woman: Do you know where I could find one?
Starbucks barista: Well, you could try another Starbucks, or Bed Bath & Beyond.
Old German woman: How illogical! Who would want to grind coffee in bed?!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: it be beyond
Male employee: This chocolate is divine.
Female employee: What did you say?
Male employee: This chocolate is… divine?
Emeryville, California
