Colleague, in distress: Oh my gosh! It squirted me! I cannot believe there is egg all over my face!
Orlando, Florida
Colleague, in distress: Oh my gosh! It squirted me! I cannot believe there is egg all over my face!
Orlando, Florida
Old German woman: Do you have any coffee grinders?
Starbucks barista: No, we don't sell them here.
Old German woman: Do you know where I could find one?
Starbucks barista: Well, you could try another Starbucks, or Bed Bath & Beyond.
Old German woman: How illogical! Who would want to grind coffee in bed?!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: it be beyond
Male employee: This chocolate is divine.
Female employee: What did you say?
Male employee: This chocolate is… divine?
Emeryville, California
Marketing manager: I love me some cock sauce!
New England Executive Park
Burlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Skipping The Salad Bar Today
Cubicle rat to another: I'm going to put a five-hour energy in a Red Bull like a Jägerbomb, pour the whole thing over that leftover birthday cake. (pause) And if I don't explode by 5:30, you win.
Georgia
Security Guard: So I told her, “I’m ’bout to go over there & milk that goat. The baby’s gotta have sum’inta eat.”
9800 Kellner Road SW
Huntsville, Alabama
Office chick: You know what the best part of getting McDonald's is? Just when you think you're done, you find five or six bonus fries in the bottom of the bag.
Office dude: It's the simple pleasures for you, huh?
Office chick: Oh yeah, nothing better! Something small and salty to snack on!
Office dude, filled with innuendo: In that case, I have another bonus fry for you to enjoy.
Office chick: Seriously? I think you just admitted to having a small dick.
Figueroa St
Los Angeles, California
Co-worker on phone: What is TFC? Is it like KFC? What are they doing?Chicken?
6000 Windward Parkway
Alpharetta, Georgia
American Coworker: Lets do Chinese!
Native Chinese Coworker: I know good p[l]ace!
American Coworker: Real Chinese food from real Chinese cooks?
Native Chinese Coworker: No, cooks all Puerto Rican.
11804 Cherry Grove Drive
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Tubby manager: I need to lose some weight.
Blunt manager: How about you quit eating like a twelve-year-old whose parents aren't home from work yet, chunk-style?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
