Female high school student walking into guidance counselor's office with a group of friends: Oh, right! You're who we come to talk to about sex.
Guidance counselor: Ahh, yes…
Female student: Well, I don't need to talk to you because I don't do that.
Guidance counselor: Do what?
Female student: You know…sex. I don't do it 'cause I'm syllabus.
Guidance counselor: Ummmm, right.
Roxbury, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Miss
Worker #1: But isn’t the ceiling a fire hazard?
Worker #2: Only if there’s a fire.
133 Falmouth Road
Mashpee, Massachusetts
Drone #1: What do you think of your new team leader?
Drone #2: She’s like an ice cream bar.
112 Worcester Street
Wellesley Hills, Massachusetts
Cube dweller on phone: Ummm… The half-naked guy with the fire hydrant.
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shmendrik the Yenta
Co-worker #1: …I think you have a future in fertilizer sales, man.
Co-worker #2: I wouldn’t be surprised.
20 Park Plaza
Boston, Massachusetts
CSR: I just took a look at the survey and noticed that at the very beginning it says “this survey is design”. Shouldn’t that say
“designed”?
IT: Probably…I cut and pasted.
CSR: Can it be changed?
IT: No, I etched that survey directly into your screen. To change it we would have to buy you a new monitor.
1 Woodland Hill Drive
Babson Park, Massachusetts
Boss, explaining why he hates a Christmas song: I heard that during my aborted vasectomy, so every time I hear it I think of the doctor trying to slit me!
Northshore, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: Is it wrong that I was breastfed until I was 16?
Coworker #2: By your dad?
Legal Seafood
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bottle Fed
Head of security: There's nothing wrong with having an expanded vocabulary.
Chief engineer: I fuckin' love it!
Boston, Massachusetts
UPS guy: Hey [FedEx guy] — while you’re in there, can you pick me up some of those neon green spandex?
FedEx guy, delivering to American Apparel: Thong or panties?
UPS guy: Thong — extra-small.
Story Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
