Janitor #1: Daaamn man, I feel you!
Janitor #2: Yeah, man, but then there was that other thing…
Janitor #1: What you talkin’ ’bout, man? She’s fucking hot!
Janitor #2: The whole gang-rape thing. Dunno ’bout that.
Janitor #1: … Oh.
Main Breezeway, Johns Hopkins Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: just another med student
Coworker, on phone to husband: Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but… You should tell the doctor that you've… gotten smaller.
Annapolis, Maryland
Worker bee: I guess he’s a she now. Or again, I guess. Gender pronouns don’t really apply, apparently.
3215 Corporate Court
Ellicott City, Maryland
Boss: It smells good in here! What is that? Grape?
Female employee: Uh, no, it’s cranberry. Cranberry room spray.
Boss, after long pause: So, did you just fart or something?
4511 Knox Road
College Park, Maryland
VP: Have fun tomorrow!
Underling: Not that much fun, 'cause I'm going to a funeral…
Bethesda, Maryland
Cube rat on phone: Sometimes when you go vertical it’s hotter than horizontal… You just have to play with it. Sometimes when I’m shooting and I’m too far away from the men’s room…
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Female drone: Would you give that to me now, please? I really need it.
Male drone: I already did it; look again.
Female drone: Oh! Oh! There it is! It went straight into my junk!
Eldersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: irrelevant
CSR girl: C-s-z.
Accounting girl: C-s-b?
CSR girl: No, “z”! “Z!” Like, um…”xylophone.”
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Patron: Can you please tell me where I can find post-modern American fiction?
Librarian: Post-modern? That would be in the future, there’s no such thing.
Patron: Uh, okay. Can you tell me where science fiction is?
100 S. Potomac Street
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Vince Valenzuela
West Virginia guy: Those Southwest email specials never give any deals on places people really want to go. Like I was looking for a flight to Indiana, they didn’t have anything.
9211 Appleford Circle
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Doug Wilson
