Investment Wanker Hard at Work

Cube rat on phone: Sometimes when you go vertical it’s hotter than horizontal… You just have to play with it. Sometimes when I’m shooting and I’m too far away from the men’s room…

Owings Mills, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Posted on August 17, 2014
Advice, Maryland, On the phone

That Homing Device Really Did the Trick!

Female drone: Would you give that to me now, please? I really need it.
Male drone: I already did it; look again.
Female drone: Oh! Oh! There it is! It went straight into my junk!

Eldersburg, Maryland

Overheard by: irrelevant

Posted on August 16, 2014
Body Parts, Coworkers, Maryland, Offers and requests, Technology

Just Don't Ask Me How to Get to Sesame Street

CSR girl: C-s-z.
Accounting girl: C-s-b?
CSR girl: No, “z”! “Z!” Like, um…”xylophone.”

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on August 14, 2014
Customer Service, Financial Folk, General Idiocy, Maryland, Words

1PM Lunch Hour

Patron: Can you please tell me where I can find post-modern American fiction?
Librarian: Post-modern? That would be in the future, there’s no such thing.
Patron: Uh, okay. Can you tell me where science fiction is?

100 S. Potomac Street
Hagerstown, Maryland

Overheard by: Vince Valenzuela

Posted on July 21, 2014
Arts, Customers, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Maryland, Questions

Not Only That, But the Planes Often Go Northeast!

West Virginia guy: Those Southwest email specials never give any deals on places people really want to go. Like I was looking for a flight to Indiana, they didn’t have anything.

9211 Appleford Circle
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Doug Wilson

Posted on July 9, 2014
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, Maryland, Travel

And by That I Mean I Masturbate Loudly in the Restroom.

Coworker in cubicle on phone at 7 am: I can't talk about that right now. I don't want everyone here to know my business this early in the morning.” (after a few seconds pause) I usually wait until the afternoon.

Elkridge, Maryland

Posted on August 11, 2011
Coworkers, Maryland, On the phone, Time Management, Weirdness

…What's Gonna Happen to My Gmail Account?

Student girl #1: Did you know the government is shutting down?
Student girl #2: I don't pay attention to politics.
Student girl #1: I heard about it on Facebook. They owe, like, billions of dollars. And now, like, if you're a mailman, you're not gonna get paid.
Student girl #2: Man, that sucks.

Loyola University
Maryland

Overheard by: How the hell did they get into this school?!