Patron: Can you please tell me where I can find post-modern American fiction?
Librarian: Post-modern? That would be in the future, there’s no such thing.
Patron: Uh, okay. Can you tell me where science fiction is?
100 S. Potomac Street
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Vince Valenzuela
West Virginia guy: Those Southwest email specials never give any deals on places people really want to go. Like I was looking for a flight to Indiana, they didn’t have anything.
9211 Appleford Circle
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Doug Wilson
Coworker in cubicle on phone at 7 am: I can't talk about that right now. I don't want everyone here to know my business this early in the morning.” (after a few seconds pause) I usually wait until the afternoon.
Elkridge, Maryland
Student girl #1: Did you know the government is shutting down?
Student girl #2: I don't pay attention to politics.
Student girl #1: I heard about it on Facebook. They owe, like, billions of dollars. And now, like, if you're a mailman, you're not gonna get paid.
Student girl #2: Man, that sucks.
Loyola University
Maryland
Overheard by: How the hell did they get into this school?!
Tan, middle-aged man with a mullet, pointing at printer: When Jackie rubs it, it goes quick!
Maryland
Overheard by: Who is Jackie & why is she rubbing printers?
Quality engineer: Alright, so who wants to do it orally?
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Blown Away
Technician: It's like I'm counterdicting myself.
Towson, Maryland
Boss to underling: Logistically, the cheese is more complicated for us.
Prince Frederick, Maryland
Coworker #1: Nah, man, I can't afford a whole case of beer.
Coworker #2: Then get a bottle of mad dog and a couple of hits of acid.
Coworker #1: Can you imagine changing a dirty diaper drunk and on acid?
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: I can't imagine changing diapers sober…
