Maintenance guy #1 on cell: Hello? Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Si. Sure, okay [hangs up].
Maintenance guy #2: Who was that?
Maintenance guy #1: I don’t know — some Mexican dude. He was talking Spanish and I just agreed with him. I think it was a wrong number.
7160 Riverwood Drive
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: Bored Receptionist
Engineer #1: What the hell were you thinking when you wrote this code?
Engineer #2: Boobs.
Engineer #1: Huh?!
Engineer #2: Truthfully, it’s likely I was thinking about boobs.
Columbia, Maryland
President #1, on teleconference: So that about wraps up what we discussed during the presidents' retreat. Did you have anything you wanted to add?
President #2 (after pause): Oh, I actually had you muted.
President #1: Okay, did you hear everything I said or do you need me to repeat anything?
President #2: Oh. Umm…no, I was going to the bathroom.
Baltimore, Maryland
Paralegal #1: It’s funny when I enter a label for what type of event the attorney is doing, one of them says “Meditation”. Who would meditate in the conference room?
Paralegal #2: Are you sure it doesn’t say “Mediation”?
Paralegal #1: Oh yeah, I guess that would make more sense in a law firm, huh?
7700 Old Georgetown Road
Bethesda, Maryland
Factory worker: It’s great, you know. I can go to my doctor and say stuff like: “This stuff is green, and it’s making me sick.”
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
Boss on phone: Hi! I just wanted to call and see if you were all sparkly from all that fairy dust I sprinkled on you. You are? That’s so hot!
Underling: I should so not be hearing this.
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Boss: There is chocolate over here. Someone brought in chocolate.
Underling: What? What kind? From where?
Boss: It's Perugina, from Italy, my favorite.
Underling: Oh, no thanks. I don't eat anything that ends in -gina.
Baltimore, Maryland
Sales rep on phone: Okay, so that’s V as in ‘voluptuous,’ A as in ‘anatomy,’ N as in ‘nutrition…’
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Male executive director: She owns that law firm. We really don't need to send her a plaque.
Female development director: I'm sorry?
Male executive director: Well, she really didn't do anything besides marry the owner of the firm.
Female development director: No, she made partner before she married him. Everything she accomplished was before she was married.
Male executive director: Well, you know what I mean.
Baltimore, Maryland
Female coworker #1: Squiggy committed suicide last night.
[Long pause.]Female coworker #1: He seems to have jumped out of the tank and shriveled up on the desk top… so it looks like I’ll be getting another guppy.
Female coworker #2: Looks like it.
Female coworker #1: Or… Yeah, I guess I’ll get another guppy.
Baltimore, Maryland
