Driver to another: Hey, sorry I hit your head with my little thing when we were playing earlier.
Kansas
Overheard by: dismayed dispatcher
Legal secretary: What's the difference between a Crunch Bar and a Krackle?
Paralegal: I don't know. Maybe different companies make them?
Legal secretary: Yeah, probably.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Breaking off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar
Sales guy #1: What the hell is that? Is that where you keep your change?
Sales guy #2: Yep.
Sales guy #1: I was like, “what kind of horse pills are you on?”
Sales guy #2: It's my anal suppositories.
Sales guy #1: Dude, I'm like a porn star. I make anal depositories! Recognize!
Bonner Springs, Kansas
HR director: You guys aren't what I expected. I expected something less professional. I didn't expect suits.
Sales guy: Well, we expected you to be fat and ugly.
Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
Manager: I've got an inch and a half I can stick in that hole.
Kansas
Repair tech: Did you happen to get any details about that equipment not working?
CSR: Why would I? Look, if the client tells me the flux capacitor is broken, I'm not going to know what that means.
Olathe, Kansas
Salesguy #1: I think Jane* may be the perfect woman.
Salesguy #2: How so?
Salesguy #1: I was talking to her about her Care Bear graphic on Messenger, and she said that she played with G.I. Joes, too. “I had them attack the strawberry bushes behind my house. That was my jungle.”
Salesguy #2: Dang!
Salesguy #1: I know! I was like, “I think I'm going to have to marry you. You may be the perfect woman.” I mean, it's hard to find a girl that played with G.I. Joes.
Salesguy #2: No, it's not. It's just that most of them don't dig dudes.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Salesman: Man, I hate it that my brain is so small that I get confused real easy.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Plump coworker: Hey, what kind did you get?
Slender blonde coworker: I got some sort of nougat. What did you get?
Plump coworker: I got a fudgy!
Slender blonde coworker: What?
Overland Park, Kansas
Overheard by: huh?
