Sales manager: Do me a favor and go help that customer.
Employee: Can't I just touch you inappropriately and get sent home because I make you feel really uncomfortable?
Sales manager: Maybe if I thought there was some feeling behind it.
Chicago, Illinois
Former secretary: They fired me! Can you believe that? They fired me because they said I had a shitty fuckin’ attitude!
Student government office
New York, New York
Overheard by: Still laughing
Intern #1: How did the interview go?
Intern #2: You know how punctuality is a good thing?
Intern #1: Oh my gosh, were you late?
Intern #2: No, I was two weeks early.
1150 17th Street NW
Washington, DC
Producer on phone with actor she wants to put in taco suit: We’re a little ways from Shakespeare in the Park, I know…
110 Leroy Street
New York, New York
Manager: Because your job can be done more efficiently and less expensively overseas, you are being laid off. However, your particular layoff will be delayed for five months because the work you do on your contract cannot be done overseas. Your projected end date will be 10/31.
Employee: Um, please repeat that, and think about it while you do so.
Manager (after repeating): Oh. Um, sorry.
Upstate New York
Man: Wow, I still can't believe they're laying off so many people. It's going to be really sad.
Woman: Yeah! Just think how little our potluck days are gonna be!
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Lady: What’s his new obsession with cocaine? Is that, like, his new drug of choice or something? ‘Cause I’m telling you, I’m about ready to have this baby just to spite him.
1548 Lee Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Fin
Manager: So, is your girlfriend taking you out for your birthday?
Accountant: No, I’m going out with my friends.
Manager: If I were your girlfriend, I wouldn’t put up with that shit.
Accountant: Well, you’re not, and you don’t have to.
Manager: …It’s not like you’re allowed to marry your friends and have kids someday…
Accountant: Well, in some places you can.
Manager: That’s it, you’re fired!
6801 Brecksville Road
Independence, Ohio
Owner’s wife on phone: Where are the timesheets?
Girl who was just fired: They are in my hands right now.
Owner’s wife: Where are you?
Girl: What do you mean where am I? I’m at your office, you called me here!!
3202 Vie Street
Knoxville, Tennessee
Old drone: I started my own business. You know what I started on? Unemployment and my girlfriend.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Nator
