Boss: Okay, so, there have been some changes in the past 24 hours. First of all, [Sharon] has left us for another job.
Team: Ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked old witch is dead!
955 Rumble Road
Smarr, Georgia
Boss: Okay, so, there have been some changes in the past 24 hours. First of all, [Sharon] has left us for another job.
Team: Ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked old witch is dead!
955 Rumble Road
Smarr, Georgia
Girl: So, I just had my exit interview with HR and they were all like, “Be honest, why did you just up and quit out of nowhere?”
Guy: Did you tell them the truth?
Girl: I told them that I was in love with you, and that the sexual tension and frustration was creating a poor work environment for me.
Guy: So then you did tell the truth.
Route 1 South
West Windsor, New Jersey
Coworker: So, has the National Guard taught you head shots yet?
UPS guy: Nah, but we’re gonna start with civilians.
17 Battery Place
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kona Gallagher
Interviewer: So, in this position, sometimes the clients with behavioral issues might hit you or bite you. Would you have an issue with this? Would you have trouble working with that client again?
Interviewee: Oh, no, my boyfriend bites me all the time. See?
1001 W. 124th Avenue
Westminster, Colorado
Overheard by: A Sane Applicant
Worker on phone: I’m sorry, we can’t hire you…It’s not that, it’s just that I don’t want to work with you.
3838 NW 13th Street
Gainesville, Florida
Interviewer: Do you have any questions?
Interviewee: Within the firm, are there opportunities for advancement?
Interviewer: Basically, it’s an entry-level job — when you begin it’s going to be like,’Shut up and color, we’re going to micro-manage you.’
15th Street and Yamhill Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: PH factor
Boss #1, about candidate: He's special.
Boss #2: Good, he's really good at business processes then?
Boss #1: No, I mean he's special.
Boss #2: Oh, like short bus special.
Denver, Colorado
Co-worker #1: If I ever get fired, I really want to sell myself on the streets.
Co-worker #2: Like a prostitute?
6350 Transit Road
Depew, New York
Co-worker #1: What happened to that [Veronica] girl?
Co-worker #2: She quit already.
Co-worker #1: After one day?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I don’t think she was that into this whole thing.
Co-worker #1: What, marketing?
Co-worker #2: No…Work.
175 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Peter
Supervisor: We need to fill a position. John, I need you to write me a Craig's list ad.
John: What should I put in?
Supervisor: Just put in your job.
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
