Account manager on phone: How can she be a virgin? She’s a doctor! Would you want your doctor to be a virgin? I think by law, you should have to have sex before you are able to practice medicine.
171 Nepean
Ottawa, Ontario
Overheard by: Smithout
Account manager on phone: How can she be a virgin? She’s a doctor! Would you want your doctor to be a virgin? I think by law, you should have to have sex before you are able to practice medicine.
171 Nepean
Ottawa, Ontario
Overheard by: Smithout
Art director: I do it over the toilet bowl, and when I’m done, it looks like there’s a dead animal in there.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Engineer: Where do I put this cooler?
Scientist #1: You know what that cooler is?
Engineer: Um, no.
Scientist #1: That’s my old date cooler.
Scientist #2: Huh?
Scientist #1: ‘Cause it’s tall enough for a bottle of wine.
Scientist #2: I had a cooler too, for organs.
Engineer: This one’s tall enough for a whole lung!
Highland Avenue
Cheshire, Connecticut
Girl #1: It’s like that kid that was kidnapped for all those years, and then they found him and he was back with his family… but then he died a few years later in a boatorcycle accident.
Girl #2: A boatorcycle accident?
Girl #1: I meant motorcycle.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was gonna say… if he was boatorcycling it would have been his own fault. I mean, he shouldn’t have been boatorcycling.
Girl #1: I know!
4310 Sherwoodtowne Boulevard
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Employee: I had more security before when I worked for the manager that died.
Grocery store
Sarasota, Florida
Overheard by: Not Buying Meat
Co-Worker #1: That new guy is kind of creepy, like he’s going to come in and shoot up the place.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah, I know, he’s just plain scary.
Co-Worker #1: …and not because he’s brown.
17th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Dispatch God
Large lady: You know if you are a Goth, they take your children away.
Old lady: That’s not true! I have ten children, and I wear a lot of black clothing.
North Station Commuter Rail
Boston, Massachusetts
Co-Worker: She sounds like she has a lot of cats. Like 40. She probably lives with these forty cats and has a pathetic life. Just listen to that voice.
5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Nicole J.
Co-worker #1: That’s what I love about Jessica*; she’s always so quiet. Never complains about anything.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and if you had a lobotomy you’d do the same thing.
25 Winthrop Street
Worcester, Massachusetts
