Engineer: Where do I put this cooler?
Scientist #1: You know what that cooler is?
Engineer: Um, no.
Scientist #1: That’s my old date cooler.
Scientist #2: Huh?
Scientist #1: ‘Cause it’s tall enough for a bottle of wine.
Scientist #2: I had a cooler too, for organs.
Engineer: This one’s tall enough for a whole lung!
Highland Avenue
Cheshire, Connecticut
Girl #1: It’s like that kid that was kidnapped for all those years, and then they found him and he was back with his family… but then he died a few years later in a boatorcycle accident.
Girl #2: A boatorcycle accident?
Girl #1: I meant motorcycle.
Girl #2: Yeah, I was gonna say… if he was boatorcycling it would have been his own fault. I mean, he shouldn’t have been boatorcycling.
Girl #1: I know!
4310 Sherwoodtowne Boulevard
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Employee: I had more security before when I worked for the manager that died.
Grocery store
Sarasota, Florida
Overheard by: Not Buying Meat
Co-Worker #1: That new guy is kind of creepy, like he’s going to come in and shoot up the place.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah, I know, he’s just plain scary.
Co-Worker #1: …and not because he’s brown.
17th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Dispatch God
Large lady: You know if you are a Goth, they take your children away.
Old lady: That’s not true! I have ten children, and I wear a lot of black clothing.
North Station Commuter Rail
Boston, Massachusetts
Co-Worker: She sounds like she has a lot of cats. Like 40. She probably lives with these forty cats and has a pathetic life. Just listen to that voice.
5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Nicole J.
Co-worker #1: That’s what I love about Jessica*; she’s always so quiet. Never complains about anything.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and if you had a lobotomy you’d do the same thing.
25 Winthrop Street
Worcester, Massachusetts
Boss: Oh my god! There were things in there that I should have put away or hidden, like sex toys in stuff that I keep in my underwear drawer.
Coworker: She wouldn’t go in your underwear drawer.
Boss: Well that’s why she’s there…to help us pack. Oh my god, I have like two sets of handcuffs, too.
2355 West Bangs Avenue
Neptune, New Jersey
Employee #1: What are we collecting for?
Employee #2: Shelly* crashed her car and we are helping her out.
Employee #1: What? Has she never heard of insurance? Uh uh, I ain’t putting in!
1046 George Town
Grand Cayman
Overheard by: not throwing in either
