Receptionist: What’s that?
Worker: It’s the Phoenix Project logo.
Receptionist: Why’s there a bird on it?
Manager #1: You have got to be kidding?
Receptionist: What?
Manager #2: Bird, Phoenix? Hello?
Receptionist: I don’t get it.
Clerk: Okay, the bird…it’s a phoenix.
Receptionist: Phoenix is a city.
Clerk: …Phoenix is, also, a mythological bird.
Receptionist: Named after the city?
10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada
Sales manager: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill everything out beforehand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped overseas?
Sales manager: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that overseas?
Sales manager: It's in the Middle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales manager: No, the Middle East! It's international.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not international.
Sales manager: I'll just do it myself.
Louisville, Kentucky
Clerk #1: My nephew is getting married, and his mother is not happy.
Clerk #2: Why’s that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mexican, Italian or maybe from India. I don’t know. They just don’t like her. He’s really intelligent, but they’re worried about him quitting college now.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: unbelievable
Teen boy: I want you to keep writing for the school newspaper. You can be our foreign correspondent!
Teen girl: Foreign? I’m not foreign just because I left the school.
Teen boy: Yes, you are. You’re so far now.
Teen girl: I’m on the other side of Scarborough, and you’re saying I might as well be in Bolivia!
Teen boy: We can say you are, if you want.
Ontario Universities’ Fair, Metro Toronto Convention Centre
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: made me laugh
Man #1: No, you’re not fucking listening here. There are no fire hydrants in the ocean.
Man #2: But we could…
Man #1: Oh my God. No fire hydrants! Are you hearing me? There are no fire hydrants in the ocean!
Insurance office
Woodbury, New York
File clerk: So do the Summer Olympics happen every… eight years?
Law clerk: Um, four years.
File clerk: I'm taking this quiz. Is Canada in South America?
Law clerk: North America.
Law Office
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Perplexed
Co-worker #1: Have you ever been to Greece?
Co-worker #2: Yup.
Co-worker #1: Did you go see ruins of Pantheos?
Co-worker #2: You mean, “the Parthenon?”
Co-worker #1: Yeah, that’s it! Aw man, today I’ve got…what’s that called?
Co-worker #2: Stupid?
Co-worker #1: Ha, ha. Very funny. No…oh! Mind dyslexia!
Co-worker #2: As opposed to body dyslexia?
216 W. Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois
Employee: What I don't understand is, why did god give the bad guys all the oil?
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Government Worker
Engineer #1: What is taking her so long?
Engineer #2: We're starving in here!
Engineer #1: Ya! Hasn't she ever heard of the Donner Party?!
Utah
Office troll #1: Gosh, there were a bunch of Mexicans at lunch today. Where do you think they all came from?
Office troll #2: Mexico.
Dallas, Texas
