General Idiocy

Lady holding baby: Do you have a high chair?
Starbucks barista: The chairs over by the window are pretty high.

Starbucks
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I work here

IT employee: Birthdays and anniversaries I can't remember for shit… But IP addresses? Those I know.

Austin, Texas

Coworker #1: There are bugs living in my computer screen. I can see them move when I type.
Coworker #2: You should vacuum them out.
Coworker #3: No! Keep them! I find them extremely interesting.
Coworker #1, pensive: Maybe, if I click them really really hard, they'll go away.

K.U.Leuven
Belgium

Female coworker: Does your phone have a touchscreen?
Male coworker #1: Well, I can touch it, but it doesn't do anything.
Male coworker #2: Do not tell us anymore about that.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: I wanna hear more

Administrator, on phone: What? The internet's going to go down? Why don't you just suck all the oxygen out of the building?

Manhattan, New York

Tourist: Excuse me, do you know where Randall's log cabins is located?
Local clerk: Randall's log cabins?
Tourist: Yes, do you know where they are located?
Local clerk: Where they are located?
Tourist: Yes, they are somewhere in this area.
Local clerk: In this area?
Tourist: Yes, do you know where they are?
Local clerk:Do I know where they are?
Tourist: Yes, Randall's log cabins, I need directions to it.
Local clerk: You need directions?
Tourist: How about a map, do you have a map of this area?
Local clerk: Do I have a map of this area?

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Overheard by: jocko james

Cubicle rat to cubicle neighbor: I told you about the gynecologist who left me on the table to deliver a baby and didn't tell me, right?

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: This is why I wear headphones

Coworker on phone: Are you sitting down? Okay… I need you to understand you do not feed dog food to your sister. What you did was not okay. Your punishment is no iPod, no computer, no television, you are grounded to your room. You love to write, right? Well, I want you to go to your room and write a story of two sisters who love each other, but one sister was mean and tricked her sister into eating dog food. This sister must apologize to her sister that she tricked, and to mom and dad. You will read this story aloud.

Silicon Valley
California

Colleague: He has trouble communicating. He can only say one word at a time.

Lawrenceville, New Jersey

Overheard by: Exceptional Communicator

Guy on phone: No, I'm not calling you. I'm not calling you right now. I'm e-mailing you. This is an e-mail, not a phone call.

Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: Confused Puppy