Customer: What price tickets do you have available?
Call center rep: $70, $60, and $35.
Customer: Okay…(long pause) What tickets do you still have though?
Call center rep: Um…70 dollar tickets, 60 dollar tickets, and 35 dollar tickets.
Customer: Okay… (pause) But how much are the tickets that you have left?
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Kathy
Manager: How many did [the client] say he wanted?
Secretary: He said none for this month, but he’ll print next month, so send him a proof for March.
Manager: February?
Secretary: No, not this month, next month: March.
Manager: February?
11071 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Student: Hi! I need to get a list of course requirements so I can fill out this form, please.
Receptionist: Okay, we’ll just need a copy of the form first.
Student: But I need the requirements to fill out the form…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, we don’t work in hypotheticals.
Student: Um… okay… What was it in the past?
Receptionist: We don’t file them that way. We’ll need a copy of the form.
Student: So you need this form filled out so you can give me the list that I need to fill out the form?
Receptionist: Yes!
Dunster Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Telephone sales rep at airline company: The flight leaves at 10:30.
… No, TEN THIRTY.
… No, TEN… THIRTY…
… It leaves at ten thirty, yeah.
… no… ten THIRTY…”
… at half past ten…”
… No. No. No… It leaves at TEN THIRTY!
… Half eleven, half past ten, ten THIRTY!
… Yes!
… Would you like to make a reservation?
… a reservation..?
… Would you like to reserve a seat?
[Long pause.]
… I have not made a reservation, would you like me to make one for you now?
… At the TEN THIRTY flight?
… Yeah, TEN THIRTY…
… No, you have NO RESERVATION!
… DO. YOU. WISH. TO. MAKE. A. RESERVATION?
… No, you have no reservation.
… You have NO RESERVATION!!!
… SHALL I RESERVE A SEAT?
… THERE IS NO RESERVATION MADE!
[Finally caves]
Have a nice flight, madam… Yes, ten thirty. Bye.
The Arken-building
Oernskoeldsvik, Sweden
VP: Yeah, and if we go over there, we could get all our stuff back. We have a whole bunch of equipment in China stuck in escargot.
Director: Um…You mean escrow?
VP: What did I say? Escargot? Well that works, too, since it’s so slow in getting back to us.
Director: Sure it does.
45th Street and 9th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: melissa
Yuppie #1: You coming out tomorrow night? Gonna be a shit show.
Yuppie #2: As long as I don’t wake up on random floors as I have the past two Thursdays!
5th Avenue
New York, New York
Warehouse Manager: Be sure to take all the plywood runners, and all the woodchucks you can find.
Driver: “Woodchucks”?
Warehouse Manager: Yeah, put them under the wheels to help with traction.
41049 Boyce Road
Fremont, California
Wireless tech support: Could you pull the battery from the phone?
Customer: I didn't realize these things had batteries.
Millbury, Massachusetts
Manager: Could you make this a lighter red?
Designer: You mean pink?
Manager: No, not pink. A lighter red.
Designer: Uh…
Manager: And this part here — do you have a darker black?
Designer: No, black is pretty much black.
Manager: Well, it needs to be darker than black.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: bobby
Office girl #1: Is it raining out?
Office girl #2: No way, it’s sunny! Unless it a sun shower.
Office girl #1: A sun shower is not physically possible.
Office girl #2: Ummm, you’ve never seen it rain while the sun’s out?
Office girl #1: Oh, I thought you meant literally, like giant balls of fire falling from the sky…
Michigan
Overheard by:
