General Idiocy

Secretary: Y’all like sittin’ in the dark?
Co-worker #1: You just gotta get used to it. The lights are broken.
Secretary: So y’all really like to sit in the dark.
Co-worker #2: Well, I think they went out over the weekend.
Secretary: So y’all really like to sit in the dark…Just like in the Underground Railroad.

1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: callmeahab

Caseworker: With all due respect sir, you are deaf. You are not disabled.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Temp: I think if I were to have two daughters, I would name them “Armada” and “Militia.”

Wall Street
Manhattan, New York

Manager: How could you let this happen?
Clerk: I forgot.
Manager: You forgot? How could you forget? It’s so hard to forget! It’s easy to remember and hard to forget! Remember that! Haven’t you ever forgotten something and you tried to remember it? That’s how easy it is to remember!

1618 Main St.
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Ydnas

Sales guy: We’re going to go around the room and name unique things about [the company]. If you can’t think of one when it’s your turn, you have to sit down. The last person standing wins a gift card to Starbucks.
Drone #1: Trustworthy.
Drone #2: Resilient.
Drone #3: Global services.
Drone #4: Inspiring.
Drone #5: Focused.
Drone #6: Capabilities.
Drone #7: Multicultural.
Drone #8: People care.
Drone #9: Adaptability.
Drone #1: Secure.
Drone #2: Employer of choice.
Drone #3: Financial viability.
Drone #4: Responsive.
Drone #5: Integrity.
Drone #6: Straightforward.
Drone #7: Ambitious.
Drone #8: Expertise.
Drone #9: Innovative.
Drone #1: Reliable.
etc…

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker: Ugh! Easter’s on a Sunday this year!

6300 West Loop Freeway S
Bellaire, Texas

Co-worker #1: There’s a massage therapist in my building.
Co-worker #2: Do you think she’s a prostitute?
Co-worker #1: I don’t think so. She lives with her parents.

251 W. 57th Street
New York, NY

Coworker #1: Another thing I recommend for you website is breadcrumb navigation, which…
Coworker #2: You know, now they have GPS.

Santa Barbara, California

Manager: Here's the office supply cabinet. Do you need anything?
First-day-on-the-job peon: Oh yeah! A pad of paper. I like to take dubious notes.

Cleveland, Ohio

Peon #1: Yeah, I got the printer from this place that sells refurbished computers. Homeless people do it.
Peon #2: Ahhh, homeless people. What can’t they do?

12 Desbrosses Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Grace