Manager answering phone: XYZ Company*. Can I help you?
Caller: Accounts Receivable, please.
Manager: Do you have a general billing question or is this regarding a specific invoice?
Caller: Exactly.
Manager: [Silence.]
1306 Dahlgren Avenue
Washington, DC
Engineer to another: Don't you just love it when Mark* comes up to your desk and throws down a recipe for soup and asks you where to buy asphalt? And he keeps pointing at it!
New York City, New York
Overheard by: jt
GM: How were you days off?
Supervisor: Pretty good. Did some hiking.
GM: How was the conference?
Supervisor: What conference?
GM: I e-mailed you Wednesday about the loss prevention meeting on Thursday morning. I know it was short notice.
Supervisor: Thursday was my day off. Wednesday was my day off. I wasn’t here to check my e-mails.
GM: So you didn’t go to the mandatory meeting?
Supervisor: Um.
GM: You have to check your e-mail every day. No excuses.
Supervisor: I wasn’t here to check my e-mail.
GM: No excuses.
687 12th Street
Gresham, Oregon
Overheard by: I love 50 e-mails a day
Department Head: I need everyone to let me know a day ahead if they want to use the car and that means whether or not you’ll be late because of traffic.
Worker: But how will we know we are stuck in traffic until we are actually stuck?
Department Head: That’s why I need to know a day ahead of time whether you’ll be late because of traffic.
626 Coronado Terrace
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: james Landry
Nagster: For the last time, forms to Mexico have to be in Spanish and in triplicate, not in gibberish and in oneplicate!
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Writer: The stupid mailroom is like the Gestapo now. They won’t mail this greeting card for me. Can you give me a stamp?
Designer: I guess so. I can get one at lunch for you.
Writer: Okay. Thanks. I’ll give you thirty-five cents for it.
Designer: Thirty-seven cents.
Writer: You’re charging a two-cent fee for a stamp? You’re worse than the damn mail room.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Miel
Admin #1: Do you have a current picture of the enterprise workflow?
Admin #2: Yeah, but it hasn't been updated.
Admin #1: Well, then it's current.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: kea
Employee #1: How do you spell “who”?
Employee #2: How do you think it should be spelled? Sound it out.
Employee #1: H-O-W?
Employee #2: Does that sound right to you? Aren’t you like, 30 years old? And you can’t spell “who”?
Employee #1: You’re the one who told me to sound it out, bitch.
1818 Hillside Avenue
New Hyde Park, New York
Overheard by: Cathie
Boss: If we don’t start turning things around here so I can get home sooner, I’m going to wind up divorced. And that would be…bad. I think.
6106 Excelsior Boulevard
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Mad Cow
Bubbly blond college grad to incredulous admin: Boys have it so easy. Being a princess is hard!
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Glad I have it easy!
