Girl #1: You know that guy, I think his name is Karl… is he the one you're talking about?
Girl #2: The one who looks like a leprechaun?
Girl #1: Uhhh…
Girl #2: Yeah, he looks like a leprechaun Seth Rogen!
Girl #3: I always call him “Hot Karl!”
Burnaby
Canadia
Overheard by: feels bad for karl
Dumb blonde #1: Is there a pool at the swim gym?
Dumb blonde #2: I think so…
Hastings
New Zealand
Girl: I had a duck!
Group: (silence)
Girl: It died once.
Group: (silence)
Boy: Only once?
Girl: Yeah… Only once.
Bellingham, Washington
Guy to friend: Just because I love mescaline doesn't mean I don't have standards!
Fort Worth, Texas
Girl #1: Hey, do you want to do the Ann Landers 5k with me?
Girl #2: Ann Landers has her own 5k?
Girl #1: Yeah, it’s to raise money for whatever she died of.
Girl #2: I thought she just died of being old. Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a 5k to raise money to prevent old?
835 N. Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Checkout teen: Would you like a CVS rewards card?
Hippie girl: No.
Checkout teen, hopefully: They're environmentally friendly.
Old Bridge, New Jersey
Man to friend: If I knew it was that easy to lose weight from getting sick I'd have licked my dog's butt a long time ago.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Chimpy
Girl #1: So, they really didn’t have sex on Valentine’s Day?
Girl #2: Yep.
Girl #1: Here’s the thing — he cooks her dinner, asks advice on wine… The least she can do is lay there for nine minutes.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: steff
Chick: Nice flowers!
Dude: Yeah, I had a bad day yesterday and treated myself. You ever have one of those?
Chick: Yeah, but I just drink.
1440 Broadway
New York, New York
Girl to friend: We should just spray them all with meat and unleash ravenous carnivores.
Reno, Nevada
