Ad rep on the phone with client: So, Wendy isn’t my real name, but I changed it to Wendy, because I like Peter Pan so much. Like, even as a kid, I used to jump out of windows.
Gulf of Mexico Drive
Longboat Key, Florida
Ad rep on the phone with client: So, Wendy isn’t my real name, but I changed it to Wendy, because I like Peter Pan so much. Like, even as a kid, I used to jump out of windows.
Gulf of Mexico Drive
Longboat Key, Florida
Secretary : The guys who clean my yard never take any off my plants, because I threaten them, I say ‘If you touch anything, I’ll kill you!’ And they never touch anything since then. Because they’re Haitians, and you know, Haitians scare easy.
1252 Memorial Drive
Coral Gables, Florida
Coworker #1: So, I had this dream last night. I was looking at the ceiling, and a rat wearing sunglasses peeked out at me from the air conditioning vent.
Coworker #2, catching the end of the conversation: Was this a dream?
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Despite all my rage…
Employee handing customer a ticket: Enjoy your movie.
Customer: Where do I go?
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
Employee #1: I hear they have a lot of them in new Mexico.
Employee #2: What, drag queens?
Employee #1: No, native Americans.
Employee #2: Oh.
Employee #1: Well, they could have a lot of drag queens there too, I don't really know…
Gainesville, Florida
Fundraiser: Hey, man, I need to raise some money for Multiple Dystrophy…[to other guy at table] Yo, man, what does the “A” stand for?
Muscular Dystrophy Association telethon
Miami, Florida
Defense attorney: I’m going back to the office. God, I hate days like this. Losing blows.
Defendant: Hey, sorry, man. But, really, you didn’t have a chance.
300 East Bay Street
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Jess
Coworker #1: You know what time I go to lunch! Why’d you wait ’til I was gone to bring your [pregnant] wife by to say hello?
Coworker #2: How am I supposed to control when a woman comes?
1252 Memorial Drive
Coral Gables, Florida
Overheard by: So far so good…
Old, constantly inappropriate boss: I’m gonna bust your ass, girl.
Young girl employee: You’ll do no such thing.
Old, constantly inappropriate boss: Oh, yeah? Why’s that?
Young girl employee: Because I’d karate chop you in the jugular.
14th Street and 3rd Avenue
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Still can’t believe I work here
CPA, referring to Buddhist temple client: For me, karma is like retained earnings.
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: George
