Customer on speakerphone about SUN Microsystems software: … And powered by the sun, eh? [Pause] Oh, wait, but I don’t have much daylight in my apartment…
7795 West Flagler Street
Miami, Florida
Customer on speakerphone about SUN Microsystems software: … And powered by the sun, eh? [Pause] Oh, wait, but I don’t have much daylight in my apartment…
7795 West Flagler Street
Miami, Florida
Manager on phone, walking out of back office: Shut up! Just shut up! Jesus Christ! (hangs up phone).
(scared clerk is dead silent)
Manager: What? She's a bitch!
(phone rings)
Customer: Did I walk in on something?
Manager (calmly): Go to hell, mom. (angrily) I said go to hell! Die, bitch, die! (hangs up phone)
Scared clerk: You walked in on every day at this place. (shudders)
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Boy piano student #1, pencil poised under buttocks: Dare me to sit on this?
Boy piano student #2: You’ll hurt your testicles.
Girl piano student: Guess what? Dr. Evil’s dad made him shave his testicles!
Boy piano student #2: But testicles don’t grow hair.
Piano studio
Florida
Male boss: I will go K-Fed on your ass.
Male employee: What?
Male boss: Don’t make me make you pregnant.
Orlando, Florida
Lady: You think wearing the skin of a dead cow is cool or something? You’re promoting murder by wearing that.
Leather jacket guy: I don’t wear this because I like leather. I wear this because I hate cows. My father was gored to death by a bull. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to Burger King.
Blockbuster Video, 14936 North Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Jonathon Flachlinie
Ad rep on the phone with client: So, Wendy isn’t my real name, but I changed it to Wendy, because I like Peter Pan so much. Like, even as a kid, I used to jump out of windows.
Gulf of Mexico Drive
Longboat Key, Florida
Secretary : The guys who clean my yard never take any off my plants, because I threaten them, I say ‘If you touch anything, I’ll kill you!’ And they never touch anything since then. Because they’re Haitians, and you know, Haitians scare easy.
1252 Memorial Drive
Coral Gables, Florida
Coworker #1: So, I had this dream last night. I was looking at the ceiling, and a rat wearing sunglasses peeked out at me from the air conditioning vent.
Coworker #2, catching the end of the conversation: Was this a dream?
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Despite all my rage…
Employee handing customer a ticket: Enjoy your movie.
Customer: Where do I go?
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
Employee #1: I hear they have a lot of them in new Mexico.
Employee #2: What, drag queens?
Employee #1: No, native Americans.
Employee #2: Oh.
Employee #1: Well, they could have a lot of drag queens there too, I don't really know…
Gainesville, Florida
