Designer to owner: He wants me to design a sign for him that reads, “Caesar Inn, Crack-whores welcome by the hour.”
Owner: What? (walks away)
Miami, Florida
Designer to owner: He wants me to design a sign for him that reads, “Caesar Inn, Crack-whores welcome by the hour.”
Owner: What? (walks away)
Miami, Florida
Patient who just failed drug test: I need a note to stay out of work.
Doctor: What do you want me to say? That you're too stoned from taking too many Vicodin to be productive?
Patient: Sure, but would you mind wording it better?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Amazed Nurse
Lady peon #1: If we keep working at this rate we are A — going to get sick, B — going to be tired, and C — going to hate each other!
Lady peon #2: … You forgot D — divorced.
Tallahassee, Florida
Utilities engineer: I have gas, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
618 E. South St.
Orlando, Florida
Counter girl: I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but we’re really busy today, and I’m the only one here.
Sympathetic customer: Yes, it’s always busier when you’re the only one, isn’t it?
Counter girl: Yes, especially when I’m alone.
Ybor Square
Tampa, Florida
Girl #1, eating lunch: You are what you eat.
Girl #2: Are you calling me a prick?
Boca Raton, Florida
Older worker: You know what they used to call those shoes when I was your age?
Peon wearing ballet flats: Um, I’m not sure I want to know…
Older worker: Slut shoes. You could always tell which girls were easy because they wore shoes just like that.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: wondering what she’d think of my 3-inch heels
Paralegal: What color is mozzarella?
Office manager: White, why?
Paralegal: Ummm…I'm going to need an extra bag, I am cleaning the fridge and that bag of mozzarella is like dark brown and green, and I don't mean spots…
Office manager: Uh-uh, here. (hands over bag) I hope it doesn't start moving.
(paralegal laughs and heads toward kitchen)
Paralegal (one minute later): Hey, what color is kiwi suppose to be?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: joey
CSR, sighing at computer: Jesus hates me. [Alarmed when notices customer] I didn’t mean that.
Customer: No, it’s okay. He probably does.
1400 Apalachee Parkway
Tallahassee, Florida
Female coworker describing a guy she met: He pulled up on his scooter… with his sister on the back…
15351 Roosevelt Boulevard
Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: is that a good thing
