IT guy on phone: Be ready when I get home.
(clicks it to speakerphone)
IT guy’s wife: Well, that is fine but I did not put the butt plug in the freezer yet.
IT guy: (clicks speaker phone off) Hey! Sorry, I know you hate the speakerphone…
Naval Base
Pensacola, Florida
Boss on phone: Are you calling for a trumpet or are you trying to fix me up with someone?
Miami, Florida
Distressed older coworker: I don't get it. I unplugged my computer last night and I'm still getting e-mails. I don't know what I have to do to stop them.
Pensacola, Florida
60-something female coworker to another: Mary, you have to read this e-mail. It's hilarious. I'll print it out and bring it over to you.
Jacksonville, Florida
Boss #1: Most of our people in philanthropy are on coke… They get the work done, but the meetings are like coke conventions.
Boss #2: I had an ex-girlfriend who was always on a lot of coke. I didn’t know it, though. I thought she just had a lot of energy. Once, when she was really high, I had to throw her against a wall to snap her out of it.
Boss #1: Well, that’s what you have to do sometimes.
Miami, Florida
Coworker #1: What are you doing?
Coworker #2: This. (pantomimes filing)
Coworker #1: You're a dick.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: justadrone
Coworker, about baby that she brought to office: Oh, she's three months old.
Random office worker: Do you have other children?
Coworker: Yes. Two. Both older.
Tallahassee, Florida
Co-Worker, trying to catch a mouse loose in the office: Bill*, he’s under your desk! Try to catch him!
Bill: Why? Is he going to lay an egg or something?
4613 Philips Highway
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Miss Kitty
Female clerk to male clerk: Every time I see you, you're either pushing it in or pushing it out.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: oh realllyyyy
Editor: His name is Kobe.
Office manager: Kobe? Is he white?
Editor: Yes.
Office manager: Pure white?
Delray Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lois Lane
