Boss: The funniest thing just happened. I’ve had a banana in my bag for like a month. When I opened my bag a whole bunch of gnats flew out!
Underling: Is that why there are flys all over our windowless office?
Boss: No.
10201 W. Pico Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Attorney: I need a [investi]gator for a hand job.
Staff: Ha, ha! You mean a ‘hand delivery’?
South Jefferson Avenue
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Left Lobe
Manager: We should do it. I’m just concerned that the cost will be too exuberant for us to overcome.
180 Varick Street
New York, NY
Boss eating old almonds: Oh… God… I feel like I’m eating from a squirrel’s ass.
Goderich
Ontario
Canadia
Manager: If we are going to appeal to the youth market, we are going to have to euthanize our marketing materials.
Associate: That means to kill people.
Manager: Whatever.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Chief technology officer: Can’t we find someone else to do it?!
495 Circle 85
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Lizerati
Voice mail, on speakerphone: Hi, you’ve reached the voice mail of Linda Stevens*. I am away from…
Manager: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…
Voice mail: [Beeps.]Manager: Linda! Will you give me a call when you get a chance? Thanks!
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Graphics guy: What format are these files?
Boss: They’re from the guy next door.
Graphics guy: Okay, but what kind of files are these supposed to be? There’s no extensions so I can’t open them in anything unless I rename them all and just guess the extension until I get it right.
Boss: Can you open them and check?
2245 Royal Windsor Drive
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Bob
Manager: My new BM is awesome!
Subordinate: You mean BMW; the W is important.
Manager: Why?
Raynham, Massachusetts
Asian boss on phone: Where are you at right now? Oh, Miami?! I hate the mosquitoes there! They bite me like a sausage!
11020 Rush Street
Los Angeles, California
