Executive: Where’s the resume I asked for? Where’s Bashir’s* resume? Goddammit, I can’t find that idiot’s resume. Stupid Indian.
Assistant: [Silent.]Executive: So anyways, have you been following this Don Imus thing?
420 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: Okay [Megan], you’re going to do all the work and I’m going to go get drunk.
Admin: Okay.
Boss: Oh, why was I born? I should’ve married rich.
Admin: Rich who?
99 Wall Street
New York, NY
Boss: I don’t know when we became such a mecca for church groups.
1975 Vineville Avenue
Macon, Georgia
Boss: When you have kids, are you gonna take them to court?
Employee: What?
Boss: I mean, church?
Los Angeles, California
Manager at staff meeting: Let’s go around the table, and everyone state your religion.
Pasadena, California
Boss: The funniest thing just happened. I’ve had a banana in my bag for like a month. When I opened my bag a whole bunch of gnats flew out!
Underling: Is that why there are flys all over our windowless office?
Boss: No.
10201 W. Pico Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Attorney: I need a [investi]gator for a hand job.
Staff: Ha, ha! You mean a ‘hand delivery’?
South Jefferson Avenue
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Left Lobe
Manager: We should do it. I’m just concerned that the cost will be too exuberant for us to overcome.
180 Varick Street
New York, NY
Boss eating old almonds: Oh… God… I feel like I’m eating from a squirrel’s ass.
Goderich
Ontario
Canadia
Manager: If we are going to appeal to the youth market, we are going to have to euthanize our marketing materials.
Associate: That means to kill people.
Manager: Whatever.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
