Teller: I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to see The Da Vinci Code. I want to see it, but if I do I’ll feel like I’m. . . supporting. You know?
Bank AVP: . . . Supporting?
Teller: The Devil!
Long pause
Bank AVP: Tom Hanks is the devil?
48 Clifty Kirkmansville Road
Clifty, Kentucky
Manager: We need to be less stupider on how we do…things…We need to work on our synergy, ensure we’re interlocking with our process improvements…You need to have a sense of urgency, a relaxed urgency where you don’t hurry anyone else but you.
1 Dell Way
Round Rock, Texas
Overheard by: Anonymous Tech
Boss: So when I format the hard drive, it erases the operating system too?
Worker: Yes.
Boss: Oh…
3937 Ivywood Lane
Pueblo, Colorado
Female boss, yelling to male coworker down the hall: Is he going to wear his shirt, Mark?
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Christine
Manager: We’re all sharks. Remember, guys.
Employee: Huh? Sharks?
Manager: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep moving their whole life or they’ll die. They never stop moving. So keep moving, guys! We’re sharks!
Employee: So basically what you’re saying is that if we stop moving, you’ll kill us all?
208 Chain Lake Drive
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Boss: I took the hooker out.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Dtell
Director: We might have to pay for some T&A to get someone to go visit the client.
5720 Peachtree Parkway
Norcross, Georgia
Asian coworker: What are you doing?
Caucasian coworker: Assembling the trade booth so we all know how to do it.
Asian coworker: Trade booth?
Caucasian coworker: For conventions, we set this up so people know who we are.
Asian coworker: What are you trading? Can I trade?
Caucasian coworker: Nevermind! Go back to your desk!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Associate director, eating a hamburger: This is really good.
Executive director: Yeah, isn’t it? It’s their Angus burger. It’s like real meat.
Southern Oregon
Overheard by: research associate
Manager, to himself: I am a ball of fire. I am a BALL OF FIRE.
Far reaches of Eugene, Oregon
