At Least Stop Posting Them on Your Livejournal

Man entering bathroom, standing next to coworker at urinal: David*, you smell like suntan lotion. Have you been out tanning?
David*: I think you need to stop with your fantasies.

Men's Bathroom
Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on February 22, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Nebraska, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment, Restroom, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

Best. Graduation Speech. Ever.

My coworker, on the phone with his teenage daughter, who has just told him that she wants to become a police officer:
"you know you can't be no cop with your boobs hanging out your shirt. You gotta button that shit up and wear a tie."

Financial District, NYC

Overheard by: shorty jay

Posted on February 21, 2015
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How Gay Troops Hurt Morale: Encapsulated

Captain to corporal, watching action movie: Hmmm, I didn't really like Julia Stiles in this movie, I thought she was better in The Prince and Me.
Corporal: I don't know, a lot of people didn't really like that movie.
Captain: Hmmm, well, she was better in that one.
(watches for a few more moments and walks away)

New Westminister
Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on February 20, 2015
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Two Girls, One Call Center Aroused No One.

Customer service rep: Will call you when she's available, and no matter how many times you call us, that's not going to happen faster, so stop calling!
Straight female sales rep: Jude*… You are the wing beneath my wings.
Lesbian accounting rep: Are you quoting Bette Middler? Homo!
Sales rep: Hetero!
Lesbian accounting rep: Ew… No thanks!

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Posted on February 20, 2015
Default

Could You Run That Scene a Few More Times While I Watch From This Booth?

Studio Manager: I loved the part when you were a lesbian.

New York City, New York

Posted on February 20, 2015
Bosses, Compliments, Creepsters, Default, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment, Sexuality

You Expect That of a Mage, Though

Gamer on phone: That good, huh? Wait, what do you mean by “He didn’t finish”? You guys put sex on hold for World of Warcraft! No way, that’s dedication.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Sex > wow FTW