Coworker on phone: Hi, monkey! (pause) What did you do? (pause) You made poop on the potty? That's great!
Westminster, Colorado
Overheard by: Just Taking A Walk
Coworker on phone: Hi, monkey! (pause) What did you do? (pause) You made poop on the potty? That's great!
Westminster, Colorado
Overheard by: Just Taking A Walk
Office peon: Not that I believe Jesus was Jewish or anything.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Coworker #1 on time in ca: We used to hop over to tijuana and hang out there.
Coworker #2: Oh, is that a neighborhood?
Pensacola, FL
Project manager, looking at chart of Harvey Balls: You have to play with your balls.
Hotel Room
Bethesda, Maryland
Coworker #1: So you ate the cookies?
Coworker #2: Yeah, they had only been in the toilet for a second! Five second rule!
Coworker #1: That’s still disgusting.
Coworker #2: Well, hey, at least I didn’t lick my dirty foot.
Coworker #1: That was once! You’ve eaten cookies out of the toilet loads of times!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Melissa
Crazy drone: Where do I go for misdemeanors?
Clerk: Down the hall to the right.
Crazy drone: I work… I work in construction. There ain't no bathroom out there so I took a dump in the parking lot.
Clerk: Huh?
Crazy drone: I guess that wasn't okay.
Portland, Oregon
Coworker: These goddamn tight underwears are ruining my day!
Manchester, Tennessee
Ghetto IT guy: It took me mad long to dig my car out. It was frozen in. I had to use one of the ice chopping things. I was going to town, it looked like I was cutting a huge pile of coke. I was slicing in rows up the whole thing.
IT girl: Ummm… Did you get your car out?
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Pepsi please
Warehouse manager: I just wanted to let you know your yellow nipples came back in.
Assistant: Good, so my black nipples are now yellow?
Warehouse manager: They aren't really nipples, they are actually pipes.
Assistant: But the box said “nipples.”
Warehouse manager: I know you like to say that, but nipples are short, pipes are long. Got it?
Assistant: I'll keep that in mind!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker: Hey, how's it going? Hey, the other day, when I saw you in the hallway… did you call me a bitch?
Canoga Park, California
