Co-worker #1: And with my right hand out of commission, you know what I figured out I couldn’t do last night?
Co-worker #2: Uh…
Co-worker #1: Yeah.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Co-worker #1: And with my right hand out of commission, you know what I figured out I couldn’t do last night?
Co-worker #2: Uh…
Co-worker #1: Yeah.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Co-worker: How about the software configuration?
Analyst: Your questions are very annoying!
Co-worker: I’m guessing you shouldn’t tell clients they are annoying.
8315 Century Park Court
San Diego, California
Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?
25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia
Co-worker #1: It’s such a nice day today, I’ll have lunch au naturale.
Co-worker #2: Thanks for the warning.
40 West 57th Street
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: I don’t want to drive you home; it’s way out of my way. Just take the company van home.
Co-worker #2: If I had a dick I would tell you to suck it.
General Manager: Hey, not in the office.
Co-worker #2: You too.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Co-worker #1: I’m going to have to take a lot of time to help my wife out when the baby comes. Are we allowed any paternity leave?
Co-worker #2: The father gets 3 days. I don’t know what you get.
1 Bay Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jonathan Nelson
Co-worker #1: It happened at 9:30 this morning…Between 9 and 10.
Co-worker #2: Is that when 9:30 is?
1633 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: The Muskrat Jones
Co-worker on phone: Ma’am, my language will not improve. If a mugger knocked me over the head and stole my wallet, I would speak to him pretty harshly to say the least. So don’t expect me to talk professionally to you.
1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois
Co-worker #1: I’m getting restless. I feel like I wanna go running or something.
Co-worker #2: It’s awful cold out there.
Co-worker #1: Well, plus, I’m wearing a suit, huh?
Co-worker #2: Ever see that movie Falling Down?
1241 South Wabash Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker #1: It’s asking for an account number before it gives you one.
Coworker #2: Uh…
Coworker #1: It says “please enter the number of accounts.”
Coworker #2: Yeah, how many do you want? 1, 2, or 3.
Coworker #1: Oh, I see.
1220 Senlac Drive
Carrollton, Texas
