Co-worker: Noon it is. I’m driving. But I have no room for dolphins in my car. Well…I have the room, but I didn’t get the tank option.
1301 E. Algonquin Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Co-worker: Noon it is. I’m driving. But I have no room for dolphins in my car. Well…I have the room, but I didn’t get the tank option.
1301 E. Algonquin Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Editor #1: I don’t know why that French reporter couldn’t find a transgendered person. It’s not like transgendered people are a rare species that you can’t find anywhere.
Editor #2: Maybe she didn’t know where to look.
Editor #1: What do you mean, “where to look”? Transgendered people are everywhere.
487 Greenwich Street
New York, NY
Boss: …in response to what you said–
Minion: What? I haven’t said anything.
Boss: Oh, sorry…I was having a conversation with you in my head.
16 E. 34th Street
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: We just had a premature install.
Co-worker #2: I hear lots of guys have that problem. Hell, [Alex] can’t even finish an install.
26 Century Boulevard
Nashville, Tennessee
Co-worker: That new guy is really dumb.
Speakerphone: Well it is fun watching him.
Co-worker: It’s like watching a cat shoveling shit with two broken paws.
8400 36th Street
Miami, Florida
Co-worker: Would you like to receive our free catalog in the mail?
Customer: No speak engliss.
Co-worker: Ha, ha. Oh, that sucks.
Customer: Si.
628 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Hannah Haddix
Employee: I wanted to know where the line for disgruntled employees starts.
HR Secretary: Right behind me.
500 Federal Road
Brookfield, Connecticut
Co-worker: Okay class, now I will read the dialogue to you and
afterwards ask you questions about it.
He reads the dialogue.
Co-worker: So class, I didn’t actually hear and don’t remember anything that I just said so can someone tell me?
Beijao, Shunde, Foshan
Guang dong, China
Overheard by: lost in translation
Guy #1: So my dad was going to complain that they didn’t give him his grievance pay.
Guy #2: What’s grievance pay?
Guy #1: Well, you know when a member of your family dies? You get
grievance pay so that you can have the day of the funeral off and the day after. My dad’s pissed ‘cos they won’t give him his grievance pay.
Guy #2: Why won’t they pay him?
Guy #1: Because they said his nana’s not part of his intermediate
family.
153 Campbell Street
Bowen Hills, Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Murad
Male co-worker: You might want to take a few lessons on domestication…Life is unfair, and you’re still a woman.
1999 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: oink
